Whether we want to admit it or not, money is one of the most common reasons why couples fight. While love is a very important part of every relationship, it’s not always about romantic gestures. Being in a committed relationship also means creating a financial partnership.
Forming a financial partnership is vital, considering that the way each partner spends will affect their couple’s life. For instance, money is essential for buying nice things, going on beautiful holidays, and for more serious aspects like buying a house, whether you’ll be able to afford having children or not and how your retirement will look like.
Finding the right partner is hard as it is, but when you throw finances into the mix, it becomes even harder. Many couples still don’t know how to handle their joint finances, mistakes that will eventually lead to a lot of couple fights.
However, the good news is that these money issues can be easily avoided, and it’s important not to let them affect your love for each other. Read on to find the top 5 money issues that can bring trouble in any relationship!
You’re always lying about money
Just like having an affair, financial infidelity can destroy your relationship. Financial infidelity or dishonesty has proven to be one of the most common relationship killers and also the most common problem that most couples have to deal with. Additionally, a survey made by The Ascent of more than 1,000 people in committed relationships has shown that 71% of participants have committed financial infidelity at least once.
People tend to lie mostly about certain purchases they’ve made, about their savings, gambling addictions, undisclosed debt, and secret bank accounts.
According to Andrea Woroch, a personal finance writer, “Financial infidelity may occur after years of built-up financial tension in a marriage or as a result of poor communication and different dreams.”
“In other times, it could come from a deep-rooted emotional issue that needs to be addressed. Seeking marital counseling may help couples overcome these issues as long as both partners are willing to work on it.”
In order to avoid financial infidelity from happening, it’s important to find a way to talk openly about money with your partner. Communication is very important because it shows that neither of you has to lie about certain purchases, assets, or any financial aspects.
Make sure to also check: 5 Efficient Ways to Overcome Financial Infidelity In Your Relationship.
You’re not talking about your finances with your partner
Most people avoid talking about finances with their partners because it often leads to a fight. However, not talking about finances will eventually lead to even major problems. While it can seem impossible to be on the same page, having regular conversations about your finances with your partner will help you avoid a lot of unnecessary fights.
You can talk about setting joint financial goals, savings, creating a budget that works for you and it’s also very important to try to understand your partner’s needs. You should have the financial ‘talk’ at least once a month, and remember to go into it with an open mind. How else you could work towards a common goal if you’re not able to talk about money without someone getting angry?
Did you know that money is one of the most common reasons why people get a divorce? Make sure to check 12 Common Reasons Why People Get a Divorce to find out more.
Stop being so judgmental
For most people, money is a very sensitive topic. If you tend to be too judgmental and controlling, your joint financial decisions will have to suffer.
People tend to be very controlling and impose limits on their partner’s spending. The same survey mentioned above (The Ascent) has shown that 65% of men and 47% of women couldn’t make a purchase they wanted because their partner wouldn’t allow.
Let’s face it, no one likes to be told what to do or to be controlled by their partner, even though it happens very often between couples. Therefore, not letting your partner buy what they want will eventually lead to serious couple fights, as your partner will feel like you’re not respecting their choices.
If you’re being too controlling, your partner will start lying about buying certain items, or about their price tag in order to avoid a fight. When that happens, you’ll have to deal with financial infidelity and it’s not very pretty, believe me. Did you know that 82% percent of couples have argued over a purchase or lied about its price tag?
And don’t get me wrong, that doesn’t mean you should spend your money on irresponsible purchases and allow your partner to be careless about spending. However, it’s vital for the wellbeing of the relationship to let your partner enjoy a purchase once in a while.
You can avoid these inconveniences by deciding on a monthly amount of money that each partner can spend on whatever they want with no questions asked. While buying new car tires might not be your top priority, your husband might feel otherwise. Additionally, a new pair of shoes might feel like unnecessary spending for him, but it’s important to you and that’s all that matters.
“For instance, maybe you don’t want to spend money on going out to eat all the time as your partner would want, but giving some room in your budget for the occasional date night can make both of you happy,” Woroch said.
Read more about the 8 Common Reasons Why Couples Fight.
You’re not able to set joint financial goals
Setting joint financial goals is very important in a relationship, as it helps you make better decisions towards a common ground. Setting a joint financial goal means knowing what to spend your money on, how much you’re allowed to spend, and how much you should save on a monthly basis.
If you’re both working for the same dream and you know very well what you’re trying to achieve, you will find it much easier to communicate about money and you won’t have to deal with unnecessary couple fights.
Make sure to also check 11 Money Secrets Financial Experts Want You to Know ASAP.
You refuse to make compromises
Compromise is a relationship’s best friend. With finances, the old saying that the opposites attract is very much true. I find it very interesting, but savers usually get together with spenders, while planners tend to attract impulsive partners.
If you’re the type of person that respects other people’s different attitudes about money and spending, you won’t have any problems. However, if you refuse to make compromises, the relationship is not going to work.
But what happens when you’re a shopaholic that likes to own 20 bags and 40 pairs of shoes and he’s a saver than would rather eat leftovers than go $1 over the monthly grocery budget?
You need to acknowledge that being in a committed relationship means not always getting your way when it comes to money. It’s very important to talk openly about finances with your partner and you need to be open to understanding your partner’s opinion without being judgmental or controlling. Talk until you reach a common ground that works for both partners.
Therefore, you shouldn’t let money come between you and your partner, especially when these five money mistakes can be avoided very easily, by simply communicating with one another.
If you liked this topic, you can also check 10 Money Mistakes That Might Ruin Your Relationship for Ever.