When a first date goes well, you’ll definitely know. You talked and talked and the time flew by, you discovered you have many things in common, you laughed and maybe even kissed at the end of the date.
However, not every date goes like this. Sometimes it can be awkward, which will ultimately make you feel very anxious and uncomfortable, you don’t share the same beliefs and have nothing in common.
Or, there are those dates that appeared to go well, but you never hear from that person ever again, even though they seem to have fun. Whatever the reason might be, I get it… dating is hard, especially nowadays.
If you’re new to the dating scene or simply want to know if you should trust your gut instincts, read on and find out 18 obvious and undeniable signs that indicate a good first date.
The time you spend on a first date tells you how good or bad the date was. If it lasts longer than planned, it’s a great indicator that both of you had a good time and enjoyed each other’s company. If your date was shorter than you expected, and either you or the other person came up with an excuse in order to leave, you’ll definitely not planning to see that person again.
According to Marlena Cole, relationship expert, you know a first date is great when the time you spent with the other person is not enough, no matter how many hours you stayed. So if you don’t want to leave each other after spending several hours together, it’s pretty clear that there’s going to be a second date, considering the first one was so amazing.
If a good date is hard to recognize sometimes, a bad one is pretty obvious. I think everyone has experienced in their lifetime a date where the other person spends the entire time just speaking about themselves, and you just stand there and listen… You’ve probably come up with many excuses in your head and you think about which one seems more plausible.
However, you know you had a good date when both of you shared information and spoke an equal amount. Also, you were interested in finding what your date had to say, and they also wanted to find out more about you, so it’s a win-win situation.
And that’s what I call a great first date when both of you were interested in getting to know the other person better, and even if all you did was talking, there was no place you’d rather wanted to be.
You know you truly connected with someone when you laughed at the same things. According to a study published in Evolutionary Psychology, when a person laughs at another person’s joke (especially if women laugh at a man’s joke) it’s a sign of interest.
So if you want to make the other person feel special and desired, laugh at their jokes. However, it’s also important that you find their jokes funny because fake laughing is worse than no laughing at all.
Shared laughter is the best, especially on a first date, when you’re just starting to get to know each other. According to research, laughing together is a good indicator that both of you are interested in a romantic relationship with one another.
If your date partner seems to be the exact opposite of you (different lifestyle, completely different jobs, dog person/ cat person, children, religion, etc.) but you still managed to have a great conversation and didn’t run out of things to talk about, it’s a great indicator that you had a good first date. After all, opposites attract.
Even though it’s important to have things in common and share the same beliefs, sometimes you can have a great connection with someone that is very different compared to you, but that can be a good thing.
Besides being a sign of politeness, eye contact also is a good sign that you’re interested in what the other person has to say, and also a sign of respect. So if you ask me, eye contact is a subtle but good indicator that shows a first date went well.
A study published in the journal Psychological Science asked participants to look at photos with random women and men and say whether they are attracted in a sexual or romantic manner to that person.
The results showed that people tended to look at the person’s face when they had a romantic interest, and those who were drawn to the person’s body felt simply a sexual attraction.
According to Celia Schweyer, dating expert at datingscout.com, non-verbal communication is also important for a first date to be successful.
“That means you and your date were touching each other multiple times, not in an intimate way but in a subtle way,” she says. “Briefly holding his or her hand during a loud laugh or your knee slightly touching theirs because the two of you were moving closer.”
As data from a 2008 study published in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin showed, unwittingly mirroring the other person’s movements is a sign of attraction. So if you find yourself in situations where both of you reach for the wine glass at the same time, you’re definitely attracted to one another.
You know a first date is not that good when you keep on checking your phone. While it is a rude gesture, especially if the other person is talking, it’s also a sign that you’re bored or you don’t want to be there and you’re looking for an escape.
According to a Deloitte study, Americans check their phones about 52 times a day. So if you’re on a date and you totally forgot about your phone, it’s a sign that you’re having fun and the other person is a good date partner.
As Eric Resnick, owner of the online dating website profilehelper.com says, if you haven’t checked your phone in hours, not even to see what the time is, your date is going great. Therefore, if you feel the need to constantly check your phone at a first date, or you see the other person doing so, maybe you two aren’t meant for each other and is definitely not going to work.
It’s one thing to be excited and have butterflies in your stomach, and a totally different thing to feel anxious and weird in their company. A first date can be weird enough on its own, considering that you don’t know the other person very well, but if you feel uncomfortable and anxious, you probably aren’t a good match.
According to Adina Mahalli, a certified mental health professional at Maple Holistics, if you can feel good in each other’s company, you laugh a lot, the conversation flows and you can be yourself around them, it’s a sign of a great first date.
Always trust your gut instinct. If something feels off, it usually is.
It’s truly an amazing feeling when someone remembers little details about you that you’ve previously mentioned. Even though they might not seem like much, is a sign that the other person is listening to what you’re saying and cares about you.
Anyone can smile and nod, but only a few can listen carefully to what you’re saying.
If they do not follow you after the first date, they’re probably not planning on calling you ever again. Even though it’s such a superficial thing, if you find a friend request after a date, it’s a sign that the other person plans on hearing from you again. So a second date might be just around the corner.
If the other person is constantly telling you how busy they are, mentioning that they don’t have time for a relationship, it’s a sign they aren’t looking for something serious. If you didn’t feel the need to come up with excuses, and neither did your partner, it’s a good sign that shows you’re both interested in each other.
And by future plans, I don’t mean getting married and having three kids, because that will be an extremely awkward conversation to have on a first date. However, if you made plans about going to the movies next week or having dinner on Friday, your first date is definitely on the right path.
According to Lora Bertoldi, a Boston-based matchmaker for Three Day Rule, talking about a second date while you’re at your first, is a good sign that you’re both interested in getting to know each other better.
For instance, if you’re both interested in the same hobbies, like hiking or biking, make sure to invite them to your favorite hiking trail on the weekend.
If you feel comfortable enough to share stories about your friends and the funny moment you had with your group, and they do the same, it’s a good sign showing they trust you. It’s even greater if they want you to meet the group of friends they talked about.
It’s a good sign that you two immediately clicked and an indicator that there’s a spark between you two.
While small talk can also be important at a first date, because you’d want to know all the small details about them, like what’s their favorite food, a movie they like and all that stuff, having a deep conversation is priceless.
It’s a sign that you two can connect on a spiritual level and you trust each other even though you probably just met.
If you’re a woman, you really appreciate a man more when he offers to walk you to your train/ car/ block. It’s a small gesture that shows he still wants to spend some extra minutes with you, and you can enjoy a nice walk together.
Additionally, it’s even nicer if they linger for a while even after arriving at your destination. If you found a man that does this, don’t let him go because he’s a keeper!
As soon as you feel the need to talking to your friends about your date, chances are it was a good one. Of course, unless you’re saying bad things about them.
If you call your best friend and tell him/her everything that happened between you two, even if you want their advice or you simply want to share your excitement, it’s a clear sign that you see them as a potential partner.
If you received a SMS or a call soon after your date, it’s clear that you had a good time and immediately clicked. However, if they wait one week to reach you, it’s an indicator they’re not looking for something serious.
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