Categories: Relationships

Shhh… 10 Secrets Women Wish You Knew

Photo by Roman Samborskyi from Shutterstock

Life partners make the best lovers and friends, but it goes without saying that sometimes women think men could do more. But what exactly do most women want from a man? Lucky for you, we convinced some women to open up and tell us some of the things they wish men knew.

Offering your jacket, carrying heavy stuff for them, and holding the door are three of them, but if you truly want to know what secret things women love when men do, read on! After this, you’ll have THE KNOWLEDGE. Make sure to use it wisely.

Here are 10 relationship secrets!

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1. Chivalry Still Has a Place

When it comes to romance, many women would rather choose a man who takes on a traditionally masculine role. According to psychologist Diana Kirschner, Ph.D., and author of several books about love, this is especially true in the early stages of a relationship.

They are fully capable of opening a door for themselves or pulling out their own chair, but if you notice them hesitating, they may be waiting for you to take action and be the gentleman. But remember that this is something you should always do, and not just at the beginning of the relationship.

2. Nodding Is Not Enough

Listening is very important, but women also need something that tends to be more vital for them: they want to know that they are being heard. Nodding along isn’t enough. According to love guru Kirschner, when she pauses, chances are she’s giving you a signal to respond in a caring, compassionate way.

If they tell you that they had an awful day at work, they want to hear you say, “I’m sorry that today wasn’t exactly what you’d hoped for.” And don’t forget to resist the urge to offer solutions.

3. Say It, Again and Again

Secret No. 3: Women enjoy being told they look great, and they like a man who notices without extra help. When they’re wearing a nice new dress, for instance, they’ll give you major points for saying how amazing they look, especially if you mention the outfit before they do.

If they have a new haircut, if they are looking more fit or particularly attractive, let them know about it.

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4. Don’t Hide Your Flaws

We’re used to hiding our flaws. However, nothing wins a woman’s heart like a good man who wants to be a greater man, according to Kirschner. “Women value personal growth, they love a man who’s sensitive and thoughtful”.

They like it when their partners recognize a flaw — poor listening skills, for instance, or a short temper — and love it when they try to address it.

5. Date No. 3 Isn’t a Bedroom Key

You’ve probably heard about the three-date rule, which basically says that you should wait until the third date to get intimate. In fact, this rule is more like an urban legend, and you shouldn’t take it for granted.

Women don’t have a set formula that they use in progressing a relationship, so they don’t set a timeline on when a potential partner should enter the bedroom. Some women will want to go on more than a few dates before getting intimate.

While there isn’t a rule of thumb, some experts may recommend you give the relationship enough time to grow before moving on to the next step.

6. Learn What They Want in Bed

Women definitely like to talk about what’s going on in bed, and they want to please their partners — and a tactful, delicate approach is often best.

Ask them about their preferences to know what they like. Make sure to ask for what you want in a validating and positive way. Kirschner suggests starting with something like “I’d really love if you [fill in the blank].”

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7. Don’t Fear the Relationship Talk

When the woman that you like wants to talk about the things between you and her, it doesn’t mean you did or said something wrong (well, not necessarily). According to Kirschner, you’d be surprised to know that it’s in women’s nature to talk about the “state of the union”.

They really enjoy having this discussion — what’s going wrong, what’s going right, or simply what’s going on. It isn’t a bad thing. An honest, wide-ranging dialogue can make your relationship stronger, bringing the two of you closer.

8. Look Your Partner in the Eye

You may think that sitting side by side would be enough, but women prefer face time — and no, we’re not talking about the latest mobile video chat technology.

The girls we’ve been talking to explained that women do love it when their partners make eye contact with them while talking. But that’s not all. Looking her in the eye during intimacy will deepen the connection both inside and outside the bedroom.

9. Don’t Try to Fix Their World

Feeling understood is one of our deepest needs as humans, and you cannot truly understand someone without feeling empathy. As psychologist Carl Rogers once said, “When someone genuinely listens without trying to mold you, taking responsibility for you, or without passing judgment on you, it feels damn good!”

When something’s bugging them, they want an ear to listen, not a bit of advice. “Men tend to be solution-oriented, so they feel the need to fix things”, adds Kirschner. “But to a woman, truly listening is a great, great thing that deepens the relationship.”

10. Romance Is Simple; Keep It Coming

Women love romantic stuff. That’s a fact. Whether you’ve been together for 15 years or two months, romance is something they’ll always want.

An intimate dinner, flowers, a few lines of love poetry — don’t fret, they don’t have to be written by you — may sound cliché, but love gurus insist that most women enjoy such simple romantic gestures and often express their appreciation after the lights go down.

You may also want to read 7 Daily Habits That Can Improve Your Intimate Life.

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