5 Signs You Might Be A Toxic Partner

When you are in a healthy relationship where you communicate a lot, you have fun, you miss each other when you are not around, everything seems to work fine. Of course there may be ups and downs, such as a few arguments or a few nights spent on the couch, but overall, a relationship like this is a strong one.

On the other hand, when one of the partners doesn’t have a good attitude, you don’t feel happy, but drained out of energy and maybe even angry. The question is: can you be a toxic partner without even knowing it? Keep on reading this article to find out!

In “Toxic People”, a book that was released in 1995, the author, Dr. Lillian Glass, said that a toxic relationship is when the spouses don’t support each other, when they are fighting all the time, when they don’t respect each other and also, when the partners behave like they are in a competition.

According to Dr. Kristen Fuller, a family medicine physician, who is specialized in mental health, a toxic relationship is damaging the partners mentally, emotionally and even physically.

There are many causes that can make people toxic for others. It can vary from childhood trauma, such as parents being divorced or getting bullied in school, to failed relationships, health issues, negative workplace and so many others. There are cases when people who are extremely stressed out are treating badly other people, without even noticing it and they are doing it especially when they are in a relationship. If you have questions regarding your toxicity, here are a few signs that indicate you might be toxic for your partner:

1. You vent to much to them

Whatever you do, you can’t stop complaining about how bad your day went, how unhappy you are, how much you want to change something and so on. It doesn’t matter if your partner doesn’t feel good, if they are unhappy or maybe sick of something.

You might hear what they say, but you don’t actually listen. Instead, you are more concerned about your situation and whatever is your partner trying to tell you, all you feel is that your problems are bigger than theirs.

2. You behave like you are the only person in the relationship

When people are in a serious relationship, they usually talk to each other about important aspects, such as new jobs, moving to a different city or state, getting a car, adopting a pet and so many others, but if you find yourself not even thinking about your partner when you are making serious decisions, it’s a clear sign that you might be toxic for your partner.

By behaving like you are the only person that matters in the relationship, you give the impression that your partner is just a redundant person. You will make them feel unwanted, unhappy, angry and even tired of you. Lack of communication is never a good thing.

3. You are not open to discussion

If your partner wants to talk to you, but you always manage to keep yourself busy, you might give the impression that you are avoiding your spouse. You are not willing to discuss your problems, you are not willing to say what you don’t agree with, you just don’t want to be that involved.

Communication is the first rule for a healthy relationship, so if this is exactly the thing that you are avoiding, it is clear that something is off.

4. You are manipulating your partner

Even if your partner doesn’t want to do something, you always find a way to get them to agree with you. You don’t want to adjust for your partner’s needs. You are content the way you are and your happiness is the most important thing for you.

You believe that if you are happy, your spouse is exactly the same, but you don’t have the initiative to ask them. Manipulation is never good, because it leads to trust issues, feeling down, being angry and emotionally tired.

5. You hold past mistakes against your partner

Everybody makes mistakes, because it’s natural, but that doesn’t mean that you should hold them against someone. If your partner did something that made you feel upset or disappointed, you should communicate with them and tell them your real thoughts.

A toxic person will hold them against someone by constantly pointing out that moment. For example, every time you and your partner fight, you remember that thing that made you upset and angry. This is a clear sign that it’s still bothering you and that you can’t seem to let it go.

If you are not willing to at least consider that your partner is sorry and forgive them, then it means that you might be toxic. It may seem harsh, but when somebody is always pointing out some past mistakes, it makes the other persons feel insecure, scared, tired, upset, angry and they even lose the motivation to fight for that relationship.

TAKEAWAY

It doesn’t matter if we talk about a romantic relationship, a friendship one or either a family relationship. Being toxic to other people is never good. The first thing you need to do if you feel like the signs above apply to you is to accept the fact that you don’t have the best attitude.

After that, you should talk to your partner every time you want something and if you want that relationship to work, you need to realize that you are not alone and that your partner is valuable. Being a toxic person is not alright, but also, it doesn’t mean that is a permanent thing. As long as you realize this and you are willing to make the bad attitude go away, you’ll be just fine!