Take one good look around you- how many couples in your life look happy? How many of them are on the brink of collapse? Now look towards your own marriage. Do things seem rocky? Well, it’s been said that while 80% adults get married, about half of those eventually get divorced!
By now we all know what getting a divorce can cause a massive blow to your finances.
That’s why we decided to outline what to look out for in your own marriage. By seeing the signs and recognizing them well ahead of time, you’ll have time to prepare- both financially and emotionally. Read on to learn more about the signs that your partner might want to divorce you!
Refusing to Attend Counseling
Just because a couple wants to go to counseling doesn’t mean that divorce is on the horizon. In fact, spouses who get professional help claim will see an improvement in relationship satisfaction with a success rate of over 70%. So, therapy for two does work in most cases.
But if one partner refuses to go to counseling, it’s very likely that divorce will follow very soon. In most cases, men are the ones that most often refuse their wife’s wishes to go to counseling together.
Women will most likely initiate discussions about couple’s therapy, meaning they’re more likely to want to work through problems. That being said, they also initiate 69% of divorces!
Stonewalling
No, stonewalling doesn’t mean some sort of house renovation. In fact, this term represents one of the most prominent predictors of an upcoming divorce.
Stonewalling occurs when one partner is trying to resolve an issue while the other doesn’t engage in the conversation, often mumbling or even flat out ignoring the conversation. What this means is that communication between partners is basically nonexistent, and it’s very difficult to fix.
That being said, it’s not impossible. So while stonewalling is a sign, it’s not a guarantee that the relationship is over!
Defensiveness
The key to a healthy relationship is good, open communication. A sign that this is dwindling is when both parties become defensive at every twist and turn. This denotes the fact that one or both partners are having a hard time not only accepting responsibility, but also can no longer understand the other’s perspective.
If you notice a lot of victimhood or indignation when you’re trying to bring up certain problems to your partner, it’s time to reflect on what this could mean for your relationship.
This could mean double trouble for a marriage that is suffering financially. If during arguments or discussions about money your wife or husband is getting irrationally defensive, watch out!
Saying the Word ‘Divorce’
In most cases, couples really do want to work things out. Even if they’ve felt that their relationship is rocky for a while, they may push through in the hopes that things will get better eventually.
But when one party starts using the word ‘divorce’, this could mean you’re a lot closer to getting one than you think. As we said, this is mainly because people try to work things out for a while before even saying the word. Once it’s out in the open, it’s usually a sign that the person in question is quite desperate and has reached the end of his or her patience!
Contempt
When one spouse loses respect for another, contempt may find its way into the relationship. This is characterized by specific methods of communication, both verbal and nonverbal. Expressions of disgust, sarcasm, eye rolling, criticism and hurtful universal statements like ‘you never listen’ or ‘everyone knows you’re untrustworthy’ are just a few of the things you might experience.
Keep in mind that contempt may build up over time, so it could take months or even years for all of these to pile up before you’re even noticing that your marriage is in danger!
Criticism
Contempt is usually found alongside criticism in doomed relationships. No, we’re not talking about healthy criticism, which is vital for any marriage.
We’re talking about remarks that attack a person’s behavior instead of working on an issue. Again, universal remarks may be most harmful. Try to be on the lookout of how your spouse criticizes you. Do they tend to put blame on you no matter what? Do they claim you ‘always’ do the wrong thing?
If so, it’s time to take a good, hard look at your marriage!
Sexless Marriage
When things in the bedroom aren’t what they used to be, you want to be careful about the path your marriage is taking. People cite this was one of the biggest precursors for divorce, so you should pay attention to whether or not you or your partner aren’t looking for any more sexual satisfaction.
Just keep in mind that all marriages are different, however. You’ll have unique sexual needs, so you need to compare them now to what you and your partner used to do in the past and not listen to advice that doesn’t apply to you.
Just keep in mind that sexual satisfaction may affect marital satisfaction!
Chronic Infidelity
A marriage in which one or both partners are unfaithful is not going to last. As many as 40% of people divorced their partners after they cheated on them.
But is it possible to recover? For some, this is a definite deal breaker. Other couples may benefit from counseling. However, chronic infidelity is a much bigger sign that divorce is on the horizon. It’s one thing for a partner to cheat once, but another thing for them to continue doing so.
One of the biggest reasons behind chronic infidelity? Loneliness. If someone feels lonely in a marriage, it’s common for them to step astray.
Preparing a Single Life
If your spouse is making big lifestyle changes, you may want to look for the reason why. Oftentimes, when someone is contemplating divorce, they may start preparing for a single lifestyle or going back in the dating pool.
They may even do these things subconsciously, losing weight, trying to stay fit, taking more care of their wardrobe or hair. A sudden interest in enhancing their appearance could mean that they’re ready to move on and we all know, dating isn’t easy! So, naturally, they’d want to look their best.
In order to look more economically viable for potential future partners, they could look into higher education or career changes!
Fading Communication
Ever heard of marriages of endurance? In these types of marriages both partners are holding on because separating might be too much of a hassle. You’ve probably seen them out on a date. They’re that couple who are sitting together in a bar or restaurant but they’re hardly speaking, and if they are, the conversation isn’t very deep.
If this is beginning to happen to your marriage then it’s time to take the necessary steps in order to revive it. As always, couple’s therapy is a good first step, as is recognizing that both of you have a problem.
Just remember, then communication fades, so will your marriage, so watch out for this!
