Many people see cheating as a betrayal of someone’s trust, from hooking up with a co-worker to having once a week secret rendezvous with an ex in some hotel room. But in this digital era, being unfaithful extends beyond having a physical relationship with someone other than your partner.
In a recent study conducted by family law specialists Slater and Gordon, one-third of the couples surveyed indicated social media as the main cause of their divorce. While social media has proven to be the perfect breeding ground for infidelity, the cheating alarm doesn’t go off only when you hook up with someone. From flirty photos and thirsty comments to exchanging contact info and planning to meet up, discover the social media habits that are considered cheating and might ruin your relationship forever.
It might sound weird for most of us, but there are people out there who have fake Facebook profiles just to troll others. As if trolling was not bad enough, others have a second Facebook identity for another purpose: cheating. If you discover that your partner has a different social media account than the “official” one, you definitely have every right to ask them why they made it for.
Speaking of which, you might also want to know more about these 30 Lies Everyone Tells on Social Media.
If you’re changing the names of the contacts in your phone or have online conversations with people using code names, you’re undoubtedly holding out on your partner. If you’re not cheating on your significant other, there’s no reason for you to keep secrets about the people you’re talking to.
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If you started posting things that have turned NC-17 right after someone you feel attracted to added you as their friend or started following you, I hate to break it to you but you’re sort of cheating. That’s because flirty photos and other posts meant to attract and seduce someone else other than your life partner is anything but harmless.
Even the most loyal of partners will sometimes want to know what their exes are doing and check them on social media every once in a while. But if the “every now and then” checking becomes an everyday habit, if you’re constantly scrolling through photos and updates to see what’s new in their life, you’re spending less time with your real partner and very close to opening the doors to infidelity.
Congratulating your ex for a personal achievement or event they posted on social media is ok. However, writing things like “Wish I was there with you!” on a photo of them wearing a revealing swimsuit or “Miss our time together”, is far from being an innocent comment.
Read also 12 Important Questions to Ask Yourself Before Considering a Divorce.
Following people on social media because you are attracted to them is not completely innocent. If you see the profile of someone unknown while scrolling through your feed and follow them just because you think they are sexy, you’re one step closer to cheating. Next thing you know, you’re texting, meeting in person and…well, you know the rest.
Those teasing and flirty texts you’re exchanging with someone on twitter will surely have some sort of effects. You might be thinking that you’re miles away and doing nothing wrong, but if your significant other saw your DMs and compliments to another person, what do you think they would say? Would it be considered social media cheating or not?
Physical intimacy is not the only type of intimacy in a relationship. Being able to trust and confide in your partner is essential for a healthy relationship. But if you’re confiding and telling someone else other than your partner about your most intimate thoughts, you might be cheating on your partner on an emotional level. Before long, your relationship will take a turn for the worse.
See also 13 Ways Marriage Counselors Can Tell a Relationship Won’t Last.
Many people still follow their exes on social media, without maintaining any other sort of relationship in real life. On the other hand, if you have frequent conversations with your ex in which you reminisce the special moments and great time you used to have together, don’t be surprised if your partner feels a little bit hurt…a little bit more actually.
If the only reason you’re sending your ex a message is to get some of your things back, your action is perfectly understandable. On the other hand, if you’re texting them to say hello and catch up on things, you might be in hot water. Your partner might not have a very good opinion of you and your innocent intentions.
If you’re in a monogamous relationship, sending other people photos of you is definitely out of bounds. Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with asking close friends to help you out in picking an outfit and thus send them some photos, but if you’re doing it to spark a conversation with a person you like, it’s considered cheating.
Same goes for emojis. Let’s say you’re not sending any flirty photos but you’re constantly using flirty and sexy emojis, you are walking a dangerous path, my friend. You might not be using explicit language but emojis can be just as explicit in rendering your intentions. An eggplant here and a peach there and you’re in big trouble.
If you have nothing to hide, there’s no need to delete anything. However, if you constantly have to get rid of all evidence of your social media searches, don’t be surprised if your significant other suddenly starts distrusting you. If your social media searches are nothing to worry about, then you shouldn’t feel the need to erase all traces.
It’s human nature to seek approval from others. We do it every day. We seek validation from colleagues, friends and romantic partners. However, if you’re constantly texting friends or acquaintances who you know enjoy a good flirt every now and then, then you’re on a slippery slope towards infidelity. If you want someone to tell you how smart, funny or hot you are, it should be your partner.
There are so many ways you can show your appreciation and admiration towards someone, in a completely friendly, non-romantic way. But when you start writing lustful comments on people’s photos and praise their appearances, you’re just opening the door to social media cheating.
In a healthy relationship, you should be able to talk to your significant other about the most important things in your life, intimate thoughts, and secrets. If you’re frequently doing this with someone else other than your partner, don’t be surprised if your partner thinks you’re cheating.
Friendships on Facebook, Twitter or any other social media platform don’t go beyond those mediums. They’re just people on your friend’s list. However, if you try to get in touch with someone in another way, taking your digital friendship into the real world, you are taking things to a new level that is not at all innocent and harmless for your real-life relationship.
Apart from exchanging contact information and getting in touch with someone from social media, making plans to meet up in person is even worse. That’s because it takes social cheating into the real world, taking you one step closer to infidelity IRL. Unless you’re planning on meeting someone to purchase or sell something, if you make plans to meet an “online” friend, you can consider yourself an active participant in cheating on your partner.
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