Maybe you’re on a continued search for your forever partner or reentering the dating market after a long period of time, dating over 40 is a whole different thing from your earlier dating days. Potential partners know more about themselves at this age, than youngers do, they have well-established preferences and desires, and also well-established intolerances, too.
“Dating when you are over 40 can be a wonderful advantage because you have grown up, experienced many relationships, perhaps had your heart broken, and learned so much about life and love,” says therapist and relationship expert Audrey Hope.
“When you are older, you don’t want to waste time and you don’t have to. Hopefully, the years have given you more self-love and esteem, and more knowledge about what you want and don’t want, so first dates can be more meaningful.”
A date can be a sophisticated evening at a restaurant, or it can be something fun and spontaneous, depending on what you and your partner like. Perhaps you’re looking for a simple and straightforward first date to minimize the initial pressure, or even awkwardness sometimes. Or maybe you’re just searching for new adventures and see where it takes you.
No matter the perception you have of a great first date, here are some suggestions for you. Here are some great date ideas for everyone dating over 40!
One way to set the right mood before the date even starts is by organizing a meetup in a particular place that requires a little effort for both parties.
“One of the recommendations that I make for people planning first dates who are open to something fun is to meet in a museum by a specific piece of art that they both have to hunt for,” says Haley Neidich, LCSW.
“This adds an air of excitement and it’s like a fun treasure hunt that you get to go on in order to connect. This is also a great way to break the ice before you even meet, making each individual more open and receptive.”
This would be a win-win situation. Even if the date doesn’t go as planned, at least both of you will feel good about participating in something philanthropic.
“If one of your favorite charities is having an event and you would like to go—invite your date! This kind of date provides you with an opportunity to share what is near and dear to your heart,” says psychologist and relationship coach Linda Humphreys.
“It also provides your date an opportunity to share with you what he or she finds meaningful.”
If you’ve liked the previous idea, you might try taking the first date for a volunteering experience. It can be an environmental or community clean-up day, food bank packing, or another service project, it doesn’t really matter, as long as you both want the same thing.
“This kind of date gives you an opportunity to share what you both value—and to share it together,” Humphreys says.
“Seeing someone serving [others] gives you a wonderful insight into their heart and soul.”
A hot air balloon ride is not an ideal first day for everyone, but it’s perfect for those romantics out there. Of course, if your budget allows you a fancier date like this.
“Who doesn’t like an adventure?” asks Romo. “This is not only a romantic thrill, but it’s a breathtaking view you can enjoy together.”
The first date at a science museum is not something you see very often, but it can be a chance to find some new things and gather some pretty useful information about a potential new love interest.
“There are tons of exhibits that are interactive and interesting,” says relationship expert Jaime Bronstein.
“And seeing how your date learns and tries to figure things out is very attractive.”
Laughing at the first date is a great icebreaker. If you and your partner share the same sense of humor, you’ll have many chances to have a future together.
“Having fun and laughing together is key in any relationship, especially at the beginning,” Bronstein says.
“You can get to know a lot about a person by what they think is funny or not, and smiling on a first date is very important.”
sometimes simple is better. You can’t go wrong with a picnic somewhere in nature. It is also a budget-friendly date option that has some major romantic potential.
“A sunny day in a pretty park can be a whimsical setting for a first date, and is also easily personalized to reflect your personality,” explains dating and relationship coach Sami Wunder.
“Sipping gin and tonic out of tiny cans or sharing a bottle of something sparkly will give a sense of occasion as you nibble on your choice of delicious snacks and chat away on the grass.”
Something even more romantic than a picnic is a picnic under the stars. Instead of daytime, go out after dark, and enjoy an honest conversation under the stars. Want to amp up the romance factor of that picnic? Instead of doing it in the daytime, head out after dark.
“Choose a place away from city lights and other distractions where you can enjoy the view of the stars,” suggests Robin Suthers, dating coach and editor at the women’s site Galtelligence.
“Be ready with some questions to encourage conversation and get to know each other. The quiet and romantic environment will be perfect for setting the mood for a nice talk and a memorable first date.”
“Regardless of your culinary skill levels or comfort in a kitchen, taking a cooking class together can be fun and insightful,” says Humphreys.
“This kind of date can help you see what kind of teammate style the other person has. Are they take-charge? Bossy? Cooperative? Sharing? It also helps you to learn about your date’s food preferences and the degree of healthy eating preference—or not.”
A farmer’s market can be a great idea for a first date for many reasons.
“It’s a morning date, so it doesn’t end up feeling very high stakes,” says Eric Resnick, an online dating coach and professional dating profile writer at ProfileHelper.com.
“You are surrounded by great food, you can see what sorts of things the other person is into, and you can do some great people watching together.”
If you like literature and reading, and you’re looking for a great first date idea, why not hit up a reading at your local bookstore?
“Share with your date why the topic is important to you or what you like about the author’s style of writing,” Humphreys says.
“After the reading, it’s always fun to ask your date to take you to their favorite section in a bookstore and to share with you about their favorite book topics and authors. This kind of date helps you to see what interests and inspires each other.”
A hiking first date is a nice way to spend the day in nature, in the presence of good company.
“Hiking is always a great way to get to know someone,” says Bronstein.
“Being on a hike will relax your nervous system. Also, hikes can be challenging, and when you challenge yourself along with someone you’re getting to know, it creates a feeling of connection.”
If you and your date share a favorite band, going to a concert is a great idea.
“Sharing music you love with a potential mate can be an intimate experience. So why not buy tickets for two and enjoy the music that makes you reminisce about the earlier days of your life?” says Celia Schweyer of DatingScout.com.
“Give each other a chance to tell the most memorable moment of your younger years and see if you will connect.”
“Driving down the countryside or going on a ferry ride offers a change of scenery,” says Schweyer.
“Taking your date to the country is both romantic, and at the same time, a stress reliever from your busy lives as adults. Exploring the rural areas even for a day can also provide you the opportunity to know each other more without exhausting yourselves from treks or hikes.”
In the memory of the good old days, visiting an amusement park for a date can be very fun and unusual because it’s something you don’t get to do every day.
“The youthful and adventurous atmosphere of amusement parks is contagious. Just a few minutes in, and you and your date are already giddy and excited to walk around the grounds or try the newest attractions,” Schweyer says.
“The adrenaline pumping in your veins helps you de-stress and spend a genuinely fun time together.”
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