When it comes to dating apps, it’s very important to learn how to master the art of conversation. According to Jess Carbino, PhD, a former sociologist for Tinder and Bumble, making a good first impression is very important, especially when you’re looking for a relationship.
And that’s because humans prefer to digest a small amount of information, such as your Tinder bio, to determine whether they want to go on a date with you or they want more. According to Carbino, the first impression and the first three minutes of interaction is usually as lasting as how you’d feel after spending several hours with that person. Therefore, what you write in your bio is very important.
If you want to make a good first impression, you need to use your creativity when writing your Tinder intro, but try not to include too many cheesy pick-up lines. According to Adam Lo Dolce, relationship coach and founder of SexyConfidence.com, the easiest way to find love on an online dating website is to use what their profile gave you.
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Now that we’re still on the dating topic, make sure to also check 18 Obvious Signs That Indicate a Good First Date.
Very important! Your Tinder opening needs to be short.
According to Lo Dolce, “A lot of people overly invest their time and energy into sending a message and custom-tailoring it. But at the end of the day, it’s truly a numbers game online.”
Additionally, take into consideration that maybe the person you’re reaching to is getting plenty of messages on a daily basis, that’s why it would be recommended to keep your message short and fun. Trust me, no one wants to read and respond to a paragraph.
Therefore, your message needs to be short, sweet, and fun. You can start a conversation by saying something like:
- “You seem very interesting—how’s your week going?”
Find out more about the 15 Dating Secrets Men Don’t Like to Acknowledge.
Teasing is acceptable.
We’ve already established that your messages need to be short, however, something like “Hey” or “Hi” might get overlooked, as there are way too many people sending these types of messages. According to Lo Dolce, your first message needs to stand out if you want to make a good first impression or even get a response.
“Teasing someone is a great way to differentiate yourself.” Lo Dolce says. If you’re a sarcastic person, you need to be careful with teasing, because you’ll want your message to appear playful and flirty, not judgmental.
You could say something like:
- “I see you love ‘The Beatles’. A bit old school, but I still dig it. :)”
- “You said you hated chocolate? I need more details.”
- “Hmm, you don’t like The Lord of the Rings? We need to have a talk!”
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Make sure to ask where they’re from.
According to Carbino, “When engaging with someone for the first time, it’s important to signal you’re interested in them.” And by that, I mean very interested, not just searching for someone to fill a void of having someone to talk to. Therefore, in order to learn more about them, you need to ask where they’re from and how they are as a person.
“The safest question to ask is, ‘Where are you from originally?’ because everyone is from somewhere,” Carbino says.
You can start your conversation by using these statements:
- “Ever been to the Grand Canyon? It’s definitely on my bucket list!”
- “I noticed you have a lot of photos taken in Paris. I visited it last year. Are you French?”
You found your match on Tinder and now you have no idea where to go on your first date? Make sure to also check: 15 Amazing First Date Ideas for People Over 40.
Ask about their hobbies.
Being interested in finding out someone’s hobbies can be a good conversation starter. Plus, this is a pretty simple one, considering that most people like to post at least one photo of them doing something they love or write about in their bio.
Try to ask open-ended questions that will need an elaborated response, rather than asking the yes-or-no type of questions.
You could say something like:
- “So, you’re a surfer, I see? I just got back from Hawaii. Where’s your next trip?”
- “You have an amazing voice! Is that a side gig or just a cool hobby?”
- “I say you ran a marathon last month. How hard was that?!”
Interested in finding out tips about dating as a senior? Make sure to also check: 15 Useful Tips to Get Back Into Dating As a Senior.
Use all the in-app features for an interesting conversation starter.
Every dating app has several features that will help you connect easier with other people. Garbino suggests checking out a match’s Instagram account and Spotify playlist. And no, it’s not creepy.
“People spend a lot of time thinking, What do I say about myself? and they’re putting it out there publicly,” Carbino says.
You can start a conversation by saying something like:
- “I just saw your Spotify playlist. I’m a big Radiohead fan, too. Ever seen them live?”
- “Hey, I saw your latest post on Instagram. Where do you want to travel next?”
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Compliments are also essential.
“It’s okay to compliment someone if they’re doing something really cool in their profile,” Lo Dolce says. However, better stick to giving general compliments, and try to avoid physical ones.
You could always try something like:
- “I can’t believe you baked that delicious cake in your picture. I bet it was very tasty.”
- “Wow, you went surfing in Hawaii?! You must be quite an athlete.”
You could always stick to the basics.
If you match has a pretty basic profile and you can’t find anything to ask them, don’t worry, basic questions will work just fine. Ask them about their favorite book/ movie, the last place they traveled to, and what music do they listen to.
Tired of normal dating? Try speed dating, it is very fun and you get to meet a lot of new and interesting people. Make sure to also check: Speed Dating Advice: How to Create a Real Connection.
