If you’re thinking of giving yourself a second (or even third) shot at love, good for you. Many divorced people no longer believe in love after love, so getting remarried takes a lot of courage. If you are looking for your future significant other or have already found them and decided to give marriage a second go, there’s one thing you should keep in mind: your new marriage will be very different from your previous one.
From emotional and sexual changes to red tape ones, here are 18 things marriage counselors and therapists want you to know before you take the plunge again.
Because you’re not a newbie at this whole marriage thing, you’ll tend to think a lot about your previous marriage and analyze things from various perspectives. But this can be a good thing. According to Amy Sherman, a licensed mental health counselor in Boca Raton, Florida, people who got out of marriages should try to pinpoint what were the reasons they decided to call it quits the first time. Identifying what you do and don’t want in a new partner, can help you find love again easier than you expected.
Sherman advises her clients to do a little introspection and answer a particularly important question: “How desperate are you to be in a relationship again?”. Surprisingly or not, many people remarry because they don’t know or want to be alone; they’ve lived for so long in a codependent relationship that single life seems too scary to them. Get your reasons straight before you decide to tie the knot again and make sure you do it to “enhance your life, as opposed to fill you up.”
Human beings are creatures of habit and routine. That being said, it’s no wonder most people like being in their comfort zone, around familiar people and things. It’s the same thing with marriage. You might subconsciously choose to spend the rest of your life with someone simply because they feel familiar. The downside is that they might be familiar because they are too similar to your former partner and look at how things ended up between the two of you.
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