Your in-laws are likely to give you all kinds of advice. They are right about some things, and they’re wrong about others. Find out what kind of advice to keep and what to ditch. Some of it is worth keeping. And some of it, not so much.
We spoke to the experts to get their opinion on what words of wisdom should be kept and which words should be tossed.
1.Advice to forget: Never fight
It’s kind of strange not to fight. Happy couples have fights, too. Otherwise, that means that one of you is too scared to raise the issue and that your problems will not be resolved. You shouldn’t have to hide how you feel when you’re in a loving relationship.
“Remember that your love interest liked you just the way you were when the two of you met,” says Gilda Carle, PhD, relationship expert and author of 8 Steps to a Sizzling Marriage. “If you suddenly withhold your passions about something, question whether you’ve given up your personal power. Fight for what you believe, and your passion will continue to turn your honey on.”
2.Advice to keep: Look good for one another
It might sound a bit old-fashioned, but your in-laws have a point. Ditch the sweats (sometimes) for the dress he loves so much. Put on the tight jeans that she adores. This shows that you’re not taking him or her for granted, even if you’ve been together for years. Added bonus: by taking such initiatives, you’ll feel more alive.
Research on couples around the world has found that the happiest couples have given priority to staying attractive to each other (along with giving back rubs and having good communication).
“Show that you still prioritize the connection you have as lovers, not just as parents or roommates,” says Andrea Syrtash, relationship expert, and author of Cheat On Your Husband (With Your Husband). “Dressing up for date night, for example, won’t only be noticed by your partner but it will likely remind you of the early days when you were courting each other.”
3.Advice to keep: Laugh together
It’s common to talk only about daily logistics and routines, especially when you have children. But healthy couples laugh at each other— and often. It helps to maintain the joy and the spirit of your relationship. “Laughing boosts everyone’s mood and probably is something you did in the early days of dating your partner,” says Syrtash. She adds that the average couple with children communicates uninterruptedly for about ten minutes a day.
“So it’s worth making time to chat, laugh, and hang out when the kid(s) are sleeping or even text during the day.”
It can help to bond you and give you a feeling of mutual joy and understanding. Professor Jeffrey Hall, from Kansas University, provides data-backed validity to something that you may have figured out for yourself: couples who laugh together, stay together.