Being in a relationship is a beautiful thing. Being loved the way you deserve is incredible. Science has proven that people who are in a committed relationship live longer, tend to accumulate more wealth and are happier in general. However, if that’s the case, why are relationships so difficult? Why do we argue, belittle, and disengage from the one person we’re supposed to love most?
Every relationship reaches the point where that person you were convinced you could never live without becomes the person you live with. That’s the moment when you’ll know for sure if the person you married is the right one.
Additionally, a solid relationship should have all these important aspects that can make two people fall madly and deeply in love with each other: physical attraction, intimacy, trust, respect…and the list goes on and on.
There are other qualities that definitely matter, too. Those qualities are definite signs that you chose the right person for your soul because the right person supports and helps you personally, professionally and helps you to achieve all of your dreams. With the right person, your dreams are his/her dreams as well, you’re a team now!
Solid relationships all share many of these same signs. Find out the signals and habits that make your relationship last a lifetime.
You actually like each other
It sounds like a no-brainer, but happy couples are truly in love with each other.
“There should be an awareness that this is your best friend, the person you like, love, and with whom you want to share your life,” says Antonia Hall, MA, a psychologist, relationship expert, and author of The Ultimate Guide to a Multi-Orgasmic Life.
“In a good, solid relationship both people encourage and bring out the best in each other.”
You respect each other
You can’t build a healthy, solid relationship if you don’t respect your partner. Without mutual respect, you can’t have trust, honesty, friendship, or intimacy.
“Mutual respect is one of the core relationship partner needs, and it’s something that is often looked over in the dating process,” says Laurel House, a dating and empowerment coach on E!’s Famously Single.
He is the first person you want to call when you have good news—or bad
You know you have a solid relationship when the first person you want to tell good or bad news is your partner. You got a huge promotion at your job and the first person you want to call and tell the good news is your significant other. He’s the first person you want to share everything that happens in your life and there’s no one on this Earth you would wanna call in that moment. If something bad happens, he/ she’s still the first person you wanna talk to, and you prefer their company more than anyone else’s.
“Look at the favorites in your phone,” says Brooke Wise, founder of Wise Matchmaking.
“When he or she gets to number one, that’s a pretty good sign. It doesn’t happen overnight, but when it does, consciously or unconsciously, things are going quite well.”
She doesn’t judge you
You know you found the right woman when you can be totally honest with her and vice versa and never feel like she’s judging you.
“No one wants to feel judged, especially by their sweetheart,” says Hall.
“Judgment can lead to feelings of resentment and contempt, both of which are hard to conceal and erodes the relationship. When couples can celebrate, or at least genuinely tolerate, each other’s differences, it will foster a happy, healthy and solid relationship.”
Your squad loves him
“We’re often impacted by our social circle’s influence, and having your friend’s seal of approval on the person you’re dating can provide peace of mind that significantly enhances the relationship,” says Hall.
You know you truly love someone, because when your squad gets together, he’s invited, too. And, while you’re friends aren’t the ones dating him, “it makes group get togethers easier and more fun, rather than potentially uncomfortable and awkward had they not liked him.”
You don’t complain about her to your friends
She’s the type of woman that makes your life happier and gives it a meaning. You don’t feel the need to complain to your friends about her because you respect her too much, and, in fact, you can’t think of anything negative about her. She’s too good to be true, but you know it’s real. You’re not up all night texting your friends about something she did or didn’t do. When something bothers you, you go directly to her.
“Our friends want us to be happy,” says Hall.
“When you don’t complain to your friends about your S.O., they’ll feel good about her as your partner and want to support the relationship.”
You don’t dodge difficult discussions
You know you found the right partner when you can discuss everything with him/her. You can discuss tough topics like kids, religion, sex, and politics. If this applies to you and your partner, then you have a solid foundation for a future together.
“Two-way communication is central to any viable marriage or relationship,” says Stacey Laura Lloyd, a dating, relationships, and wellness writer.
“When you and your partner can openly, honestly, and candidly discuss anything—and no topic is taboo—the bonds between the two of you are continuously strengthened.” Lloyd says that if you can’t handle talking about difficult topics, it’s only a matter of time before you can’t talk about meaningless things, either.
“Every relationship comes with challenges and difficult conversations,” says Megan Costello, LMFT, a licensed marriage and family therapist in private practice in Los Angeles.
“It’s how you navigate these discussions that really matters. Listen with empathy and strive to recognize strengths in your partner during conversations about difficult topics.”
You don’t want him to change
“Oftentimes the very qualities that attracted you to someone can repel you later,” says Andrea Syrtash, relationship expert and author of Cheat on Your Husband (with Your Husband): How to Date Your Spouse.
“For instance, you may have originally loved that your husband was so fun and spontaneous. Now, you may complain that he never plans anything in advance!”
When you meet the one, you don’t want to change him, because you love and accept him the way he is. You’re not secretly hoping he’ll make more money, or have six-pack abs. Syrtash suggests that you should try to remember what made you fall in love with him in the first place, instead of finding constant reasons to change him.
You trust one another
A healthy, solid relationship means having no problem when the other one is out with his/her friends on a Friday night. You want your partner to have a good time and enjoy the night with his/her friends without acting jealous.
“Trust and respect are the foundation of any healthy relationship,” Syrtash says.
“Without them, it won’t work.” You know he’d never do anything to betray your trust or something that would hurt you. You have one another’s backs and don’t keep secrets.
You know he’s into you
“In a healthy relationship, each partner will know how much they care about the other, because they’ll be focused on meeting their basic needs—emotional support, companionship, and affection,” says Lisa Hochberger, M.ED., a sexologist, sexuality educator and relationship expert.
You know what he feels about you, and you don’t feel the need to try to figure out his true motives, because his words and actions reveal his true feelings. When you reach this point in a relationship, even if he doesn’t text or call you back right away, that’s OK since you know that you’re solid. You have no reason to worry because he makes sure you’re loved every single day.