We can’t deny that sex plays a very important part in every adult relationship. Besides being very intimate, it’s also a very vulnerable experience. Whether you’re in a long-term relationship or you’re just enjoying your freedom by having an occasional one-night-stand, there are certain things that should never be said while you’re in bed, naked.
That doesn’t mean you should just lie for the other person’s sake, however, you should think twice before saying mean things that could make the other person feel insecure or hurt. After all, words cut deeper than a knife, and the other person might be left with a lot of unnecessary wounds.
With the help of relationship, communication experts, and mental health professionals, we made a list of the things we should avoid telling while being naked in bed with someone. According to experts, one of the worst things one can say in bed, is “You’re doing it wrong.”
While it can be disappointing not to get the satisfaction you’ve expected, there are certain things that shouldn’t be said in bed. Or if you truly want to say something about it, make sure to choose the right words so the other person won’t feel offended.
“This statement can make everything go wrong as soon as you spit it out of your mouth,” says relationship expert Amy Olson. “I don’t mean you can’t communicate your needs or what you would like better. But don’t tell him or her that they are doing it wrong. It will make them feel embarrassed. Instead, just say, ‘Can you do it like this?'”
Curious what you should and shouldn’t say in bed? Read on to find the 4 turnoffs that will definitely ruin your night, according to experts!
“Can you please brush your teeth?”
While good hygiene is essential and shouldn’t get overlooked, there are certain questions that should never be asked, unless you would want to make the other person feel embarrassed. According to Sandra Glavan, the founder of Super Sensitive Sandi, a website for helping people reduce and manage anxiety, bad breath is not necessarily a sign of bad hygiene, and it can be caused by several digestive problems.
Even if they brush their teeth five times a day, they can still have bad breath. There’s no need to make them feel even more uncomfortable than they probably already are. Glavan explained that those who suffer from bad breath are very aware of their problem, and telling them to brush their teeth will only make them feel even more insecure about intimacy.
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Never say something like “Yeah, I had better.”
These words should never come out of your mouth, even though it’s exactly what you think. No matter how nice you are, or how good are your intentions, these words won’t motivate the other person, but they can leave serious wounds.
Comparing your partner with other people is a big no-no and it can make them feel insecure for life. While it might seem like a joke to you, it’s a serious matter for the person in question.
According to Cassandra LeClair, PhD, senior lecturer in the department of communication studies at Texas State University, “Saying something that undermines their security or sense of self is hurtful and damaging.”
“This type of comment reinforces feelings of self-doubt and may lead them to question themselves in relationships going forward,” she added. If you feel like they’re not the best partner for you, or they’re simply not what you wanted, there’s no need to destroy their confidence or make them feel insecure for a long period of time.
“Have you been tested recently?”
This is probably the last thing you want to hear after getting in bed with someone. While we can all agree that it’s understandable if you want to know more about your partner’s sexual history, you should never ever ask that question when you’re still in bed, naked.
That’s a discussion that needs to be held in a more friendly environment, while openly talking about ti without feeling awkward or embarrassed. According to author and life coach Aiden Parks, this is a topic that would be discussed before, never after.
So before getting to more serious business, make sure you bring this topic while having an honest talk with your partner. If he/ she doesn’t seem to like this topic, then maybe they’re not mature enough and you shouldn’t waste any more time.
You should NEVER EVER call a person by the wrong name.
Calling a person by the wrong name in bed is a big NO-NO. Besides being a very awkward situation for both of you, it’s also very hurtful for the person in question. Most people don’t even know how to react to such an awkward situation, and it’s definitely the kind of thing that can leave scars.
According to psychologist Thomas DiBlasi, PhD, sex is a very intimate experience that makes many people feel insecure as it is. If by any chance, the person you’re in bed with says anything about you not knowing how to do something, it could get even more uncomfortable.
The same goes for saying the wrong name. The other person will assume that you’re still caught up on an ex, or that your thinking of another person in the exact moment (which is certainly true), whatever the case, it can lead to a very embarrassing situation for both.