One of the worst things you could do in life is to become a monster-in-law for your son or daughter’s spouses. A mother-in-law should be kind, caring and supportive, someone your child and their family could rely on whenever they need a piece of advice, help or encouragement.
You might not see yourself as the worst mother-in-law in the universe, but if you are doing any of these 9 things, you’re clearly competing for a “Monster-in-Law” award and it’s time to change your behavior for the better. As the saying goes, treat others how you want to be treated!
Making snide comments to show your dislikes
You may not always like your children’s choices, including the people they’ve chosen as their life partners, but guess what…it’s not for you to like them. They are the ones marrying and living with them, not you.
If you take every opportunity to make your dislikes known, you’re only adding stress to the relationship with your son/daughter and you might end up pushing them away for good. If you often find yourself making snide and rude remarks to your son or daughter-in-law, making them feel uncomfortable, you’re a bad in-law and you should just stop.
Make sure you check out these 6 Things You Should Never Say to Your Family!
You think you are always right
This is one of the most bothersome things about people. Not accepting other people’s opinions and ideas, always thinking that are never wrong. But “mamma doesn’t always know best” and you don’t always need to have the last word in an argument.
If you think everyone should bow to your command and do exactly what you say when taking just about every major decision in their lives, think again.
You give unsolicited advice
“The desire to give advice is itself a symptom of disapproval.” You’re a difficult mother-in-law if you always interfere and meddle with your children’s lives and give advice even if they don’t ask it from you. To add insult to injury, you feel extremely hurt and offended if they don’t follow your unsolicited advice.
Don’t be one of these 7 Types Of Toxic People Who Poison other people’s lives!
You employ smear tactics
Smear tactics refer to someone’s efforts (in this case, yours) to damage someone’s reputation. You constantly badmouth your son or daughter-in-law to other members of your family or friends, trying to turn others against them and making sure everyone’s on your side. It’s your passive-aggressive method to keep things under your control.
You’re extremely critical and judgmental
You are like a judgmental Terminator…relentless. No matter what your son or daughter-in-law does, it’s just not good enough. You feel the need to interfere and show how things should be done, from cleaning their home whenever you visit to rearranging their closet and cooking for them because what they eat is not to your taste.
Even your small gifts are offered as a sign of disapproval; you offer clothes because you don’t like their fashion style, you offer cookbooks because you don’t like their cooking and so on.
You just need the phone to never stop ringing, your children to never stop visiting and your son or daughter-in-law to stop taking your time away with your child. You want to keep your child all to yourself and have no problem using guilt in a mean-spirited manner to make your son or daughter put you above everyone else, even if it means taking time away from their own families.
You want to prove that you’re still the #1 person in their lives. Needy much?
You have no boundaries
Boundaries are important in any relationship, be it between parents and children, between spouses, between friends or co-workers. You get it. Unfortunately, for a bad mother-in-law, there is no such thing as boundaries.
You bombard your son or daughter and their life partners with phone calls, you show up unannounced, you invade their space and even make important decisions when it comes to your grandchildren, without asking first. If you recognize yourself in these actions, you’d better stop before your relationship is damaged beyond repair.
You offer back-handed apologies
A manipulative and narcissistic move on your part is to put the blame on your son or daughter in law, even when you’re apologizing. You never want to admit it’s your fault, so you employ all sorts of manipulation tactics to come out unscathed.
You say things like “I’m sorry you feel this way”, “I apologize for caring” or “I’m sorry if you thought I was insulting you” to get out of an unpleasant situation and make the other person feel bad.
You make family events stressful
You frequently speak to your son or daughter in law as if they are beneath you, you make your son or daughter feel uncomfortable when coming to visit you with their spouses, and you constantly bring up unpleasant topics during family dinners.
You feel better only if you are the center of attention and expect preferential treatment on every occasion. Don’t be surprised if those occasions become rarer and rarer.
Read also 10 Bad Parenting Traits You Should Let Go Of!
The impact of a bad mother-in-law on family
When you’re doing everything in your power to make your child’s spouse feel unwelcome and uncomfortable, you’re not only hurting them, you’re also hurting your child and even grandchildren. No one likes to see their wife, husband, mom or dad treated in an unkind and mean way. You’ll not only make things harder for everyone, but you will also come off as a bad person. Do you really want your grandkids to see you that way?
You might not be doing these things deliberately. Even if you are, it’s still not too late to change and mend things with everyone involved. So, if this list of bad mother-in-law traits applies to you, reconsider your attitude and become a kinder, more supportive person for everyone’s sake, including yours!