Oh, new relationships…how wonderful everything is in the beginning. I think we can all remember those butterflies, the first kiss, the first sleepover, the first ‘I love you’. New love comes with excitement, hope, intense feelings and the possibility to get your heartbroken.
At the beginning of a relationship, people tend to have fun, enjoy the moment and take a step back from analyzing each other’s behavior. While it’s nothing wrong with living in the moment, the enthusiasm for a new love can make you overlook the early signs that indicate whether the relationship is going to work or not.
Read on to discover the 10 signs you’re probably going to be left with a broken heart! Make sure to also read the 15 Unmistakable Signs You’re Falling In Love.
You’re tolerating your partner’s bad behavior
There are many ways in which your partner can treat you badly, and it’s very easy to ignore their behavior just because you love them and want things to work out. You need to remember one thing, every time you tolerate your partner’s bad behavior, you’re allowing them to disrespect you, and they will continue to do so until you speak up.
If they’re constantly making insensitive jokes, disrespecting your personal space, insults your looks, calling you names, being aggressive out of nowhere, threatening to break up with you every time you have a little disagreement, showing up late and being glued to their phone every time you’re going out on a date, then maybe you’re not in the right relationship and you need to ask yourself if it’s worth it.
Many people seem to ignore these red flags because other aspects of their relationship appear to work just fine.
Why it’s bad: After years and years of tolerating bad behavior, you might wake up one day and realize you invested a lot of time and effort in someone who didn’t even respect you.
How you can fix it: Every time they’re maltreating you, it’s important to speak up for yourself in a polite way and express your expectations about your relationship. You can stay something like,
“I expect you to talk to me when we’re on a date, and leave your phone for later use.”Make sure to also check 10 Signs of a Toxic Relationship—Are You the Toxic One?
You’re putting your personal life on hold
Especially at the beginning of a relationship, it can be very tempting to put your personal life on hold, just because you’d want to spend as much time with your new partner as possible. And just like that, everything revolves around them. You abandon your friends, you communicate less with your family, you forget about your favorite activities and hobbies, all because you want to be available for your new partner.
Why it’s bad: While it can start off by communicating less with your family and friends, you will end up losing contact with your loved ones, switch jobs and even move to another country. But what happens if your partner loses interest in you and you have no one to go back to because you gave up your friends and family a long time ago?
How can you fix it: In order to have a happy, long-lasting relationship, you need to learn to be independent. Relationships don’t require you to give up on your personal life, you can still talk to your loved ones and spend time with them. You can follow the 50-30-20 rule, that suggests spending 50% of the time with your partner, 30% with your family and close friends, and 20% by yourself.
You’re putting your partner on a pedestal
Being human means making mistakes and being wrong from time to time. However, newly in love people tend to neglect the fact that their partner is not perfect. Therefore, you could be putting your partner on a pedestal and treat them as if they were perfect, even though they’re just human like all of us, making mistakes and all of that.
Why it’s bad: By putting your partner on a pedestal you only pave the road to future disappointment, because at some point or another, you’re going to realize that your significant other is just a human being, like anyone else.
How you can fix it: Try not to set unrealistic standards for your partner. Always consider the way they treat other people, such as family members, friends, waiters at restaurants and even strangers, because that will tell you a lot about who they are as a person.
Discover the 25 Relationship Habits That Are Actually Dangerous.
You’re too clingy
In the beginning stages of a relationship, people tend to be too clingy because they really want things to work out, or they’re tired of being alone. However, being too needy can push the other person away.
Why it’s bad: You need personal space, and not having it, will eventually create space between you two. While it’s normal to show your affection and make them feel loved, you need to make sure you’re not smothering them. Very often, this behavior leads to the other person turning to other people and even cheating.
How can you fix it: Understand that people need space, acknowledge that it’s not because they don’t love you, they just need some personal time as well, to spend it as they please. Be confident and independent if you want your relationship to work.
Find out which are the 8 Common Behaviors That Are Sabotaging Your Relationship.
You’re not yourself when you’re around your partner
Most people have this false idea in their heads that they need to be perfect in order to be liked. So they tend to keep their not-so-great qualities hidden at the beginning of the relationship. However, you won’t be able to wear a mask forever, and even if you might think that a little white lie here and there can’t hurt, you’re actually pretending to be some you’re not.
Why it’s bad: Even though it might not seem like it, you’re actually lying to your partner by pretending to be someone else. Additionally, keeping secrets at the start of the relationship might lead to even bigger lies over time. If your new relationship was created over a false foundation, chances are it’s not going to last.
How can you fix it: A healthy relationship is based on respect, honesty, understanding and mutual trust. While you don’t have to share every small detail of your life with your partner, keeping secrets is definitely not the best way to start a relationship. Be who you are, with all your flaws and not-so-great features, after all, someone who loves you won’t be bothered by them.
Make sure to also read about the 30 Funny White Lies Everyone in a Relationship Tells.
You’re not communicating enough with your partner
Many people seem to think that their partner can read minds, so they don’t feel the need to actually talk to them. “If my girlfriend or boyfriend really loved me, they’d know what I needed and give it to me.”
This is one of the most common mistakes people tend to make in a relationship, they just assume the other person knows how they feel. Unfortunately, that’s not true. If you want your partner to know how you feel, you need to tell them.
Why it’s bad: If you’re not communicating well with your partner you might end up feeling misunderstood or confused. Also, the lack of communication can turn into resentment and frustration over time.
How you can fix it: No matter how uncomfortable might be to speak up about your expectations and desires with a new partner, you need to do if you want the relationship to work. You need to be honest with your partner about your expectations, but also learn to be a good listener and consider his feelings and opinions as well. You need to find the perfect balance between speaking and listening.
You’re too controlling
Being too controlling is an indicator that you have serious trust issues. Too much jealousy can also indicate that you have low self-esteem. Make sure to also read Why Self-love Is so Important and How to Achieve It.
Why it’s bad: By acting too controlling and jealous you might push your partner away. No one likes a person that tries to control every move the other makes. The other person might feel like you’re limiting their personal space and destroy the things that are important to them.
How you can fix it: Try not to send midnight texts just because you want to check up on your partner. Also, don’t blow up your significant other’s phone every time they don’t answer immediately.
You’re ignoring the major differences
You need to make sure that you share the same values and beliefs with your significant other because otherwise, it’s almost impossible to create common goals and expectations about the relationship. Many people tend to ignore things such as religion, morality, career, money, family and friends at the beginning of the relationship, but you might end up regretting it later.
Why it’s bad: You need to make sure you share the same beliefs and have similar worldviews. And no, we’re not talking about things like music taste and food preferences. We’re talking about the major differences between your core values that can ruin a relationship.
How can you fix it: Assuming that you’d want to know these things from the start so you avoid wasting any more time, make sure to discuss with your partner these aspects from the beginning, so there will be no suprises later on.
Click here to read about the 22 Reasons Why Relationships Typically Fail.
Things are moving too fast
In this day and age, people act like they’re always in a rush, and things are moving way too fast, even in relationships. First, you get the butterflies in your stomach, soon after you move in together and talk about marriage and children. If you’ve found yourself imagining all those things after the first kiss, you need to slow down immediately.
Why it’s bad: Even though this person might really seem ‘the one’, it’s important to take things slow, otherwise, you’ll put a lot of unnecessary pressure on a new relationship that might not work out. Additionally, your behavior might scare off the other person especially if they fear commitment.
How can you fix it: Take it step by step and enjoy every phase of the relationship. You need to get to know each other better, before making serious plans like moving in together, marriage and even kids. Enjoy the first date, the first kiss, the first trip together, all those things can help you discover your partner’s personality.
Make sure to also check 14 Signs of a Strong and Healthy Relationship, According to Psychologists.
You’re constantly bringing up your past experience
Trust me, your current partner doesn’t want to hear about your past relationships, so comparing them to your exes is not a good idea. After all, some things are better left in the past, so there’s no need bringing up your past experience.
Why it’s bad: It’s actually not that fun for your current partner to constantly hear about your past relationships. The fact that you always feel the need to bring up your past might make your partner feel like you’re not happy with them.
Or, they could start comparing themselves to your exes, either way, these things can ruin your relationship. Additionally, by constantly comparing your partner with your previous partners you could create impossibly high standards for them.
How you can fix it: No, you don’t have to forget your past relationship or even deny the fact that they shaped you as a person, and you are who you are today because these people were once in your life. However, you need to think twice before talking about your exes. Always remember the golden rule: “Never talk about your exes until you feel secure in your current relationship.”