4.Rule: Be honest, even when it hurts
Don’t get me wrong, honesty is the most important thing in a relationship. If you do need to bring up something, make sure to always say it gently instead of bluntly letting out your harsh complaints. “The best relationships are absolutely honest with each other, but not brutal,” says Feldhahn. Just like you would talk to a coworker or friend, use kind words with your partner as well.
5.Rule: The partner who’s wrong should apologize first
There are situations where you know for sure that you’re absolutely right during a fight with your partner, however, you shouldn’t wait around for an apology. Sometimes you have to be the bigger person and say sorry for your part in the fight.
This way, you can both move on instead of stewing in unresolved anger, says Dr. Greer. Moreover, if you’re always the one apologizing, follow up by asking if your partner feels sorry, too. “Pose the question and engage your partner’s response,” she says. “If they say they aren’t sorry, prompt them about what may need to change because you need to be able to trust he or she won’t do this again.”
6.Rule: Never go to bed mad
In reality, even happy couples actually do hit the sack before resolving a fight, says Feldhahn. “When you have two exhausted, angry, upset people trying to duke it out at one in the morning, nothing good will come from that,” she says. The most important thing regarding a fight is that people in strong relationships don’t pretend it never happened, she says. Instead, they both agree to talk about it the next day, even if that means laughing about how silly it was. It’s always better to talk when you both have clearer heads.
