2. Compromise.
One thing is sure when it comes to a long-lasting relationship, you can’t have it without compromise. You need to learn to compromise once in a while, even when we talk about the small things, like what furniture to buy or what color to paint the walls, who’s turn it is to take the trash and who does the dishes, to the bigger things like whether to have kids or not, what house to buy and what’s best for your family.
You need to be prepared that you’re going to disagree a lot about both the small and the big things, and there will be times when you will be the one that to compromise and other times where your partner will have to be more tolerant and do it your way. It’s all about balance.
According to Miller, it’s important to talk about the things you can tolerate and accept, while also discussing the things or behaviors that you’re not OK with. Being in a relationship is not a contest, it’s not about who wins the most arguments and who’s always right. A healthy, long-lasting relationship is about learning to compromise from time to time, and your partner should do the same.
3.You still need some ‘me’ time.
A mistake that many couples make when moving in together is to them all their free time together, and even get mad when the other person is doing something without them, such as going out with some girlfriends or going to watch a football match with the male friends.
No matter how much you love spending time with your significant other, you still need to prioritize the ‘me’ time and your personal space once in a while, and it’s normal to do it. Chances are you and your partner will have different hobbies, likes, interests, and needs, so having some personal time away from each other will actually make you an even stronger couple.
You need to learn to trust your partner and accept that it’s OK for them to spend time with their friends or do something they love. Since you’re now living together and sleeping in the same bed every night, you need to create a separation that works for you both.
As Miller likes to say, everyone needs their personal space and it’s OK to have different interests and hobbies. If your partner wants to spend all their free time with you and is not very happy when you do anything without them, you need to have an open conversation and negotiate the time you both need to spend alone. Find a way that works for you both and encourage your partner to try some new hobbies.
