Some marriages seem to work by default. The partners are getting on well, they are communicating and can resolve every issue they have, they go out, they behave like they are teenagers who’ve just fell in love and so on. Everything happens while other couples are going through a hard time. They don’t talk anymore, they keep secrets from each other, they talk badly about each other and it seems like they just don’t care anymore.

If you feel like you and your spouse are going through a hard time in your marriage, then it’s time to step back and start analyzing your relationship. Also, keep on reading, because I’m about to tell you all about some bad habits than can destroy your marriage.

1. Having an addiction 

Addictions can look different for anybody. Some people can spend their whole day scrolling through social media, while others can be addicted to food, alcohol, drugs, gambling or even shopping. The type of addiction doesn’t matter, what does is what you actually make your partner believe.

Think about it like this. All people are attracted to confident people. You won’t be tempted to talk to someone who is always complaining, because it will drawn the energy and the patience out of you. That’s why, when you see that someone is having an addiction, your mind starts to think of a lot of problems: financial issues, psychological and trust issues, lack of confidence when it comes to the relationship and the list can go on.

2. No communication

People tend to want somebody to talk to, somebody they can trust, to have somebody that listens when they express their feelings and their frustrations. If you feel like you can’t talk to your partner – in general, but especially when it comes to solving some issues you might have – then what’s the point of your marriage in the first place?

You should be able to tell each other with honesty how you feel, not keep everything in you until you feel like you are on the verge of exploding. Sometimes, having a conversation can be the best medicine. If you and your spouse decide to talk and say everything that comes to mind, you might understand each other better and eliminate some issues.

3. Treating each other like you are enemies

People get married because they believe they found their soulmate. If we dive in a little deeper, we’ll see that the word “soulmate” actually comes from the poet Samuel Taylor Coleridge. He used it in one of his letters from 1822, where he wrote “To be happy in Married Life, you must have a Soul-mate”.

In one of his books, “The Banquet”, Plato quoted the poet Aristophanes and said that once, all humans were united – man and woman – until Zeus got mad and jealous and split them. Since then, everyone is looking for their soulmates.

People in a relationship and especially in a marriage should help each other, not shout every time they have a conversation and behave like they are enemies, not partners.

4. No intimacy 

Being intimate with your partner can make you feel good, appreciated and close to your spouse. If you see that your intimate life started to suffer lately, it is an indicator that something is off in your relationship. It might be a bad day, but this shouldn’t be your normal. Try and focus more on the positive aspects of your partner, rather than on the negative ones.

Being intimate has numerous physical and mental health benefits, so you shouldn’t say “no” every time, but try and solve this issue.

5. No little gestures

Little gestures make people fall in love with each other. Saying thank you when your partner does something for you, giving a good morning or a good night kiss, surprising each other. These are not hard things to do and they don’t even cost money, so no excuses!

6. Letting someone come between you two

When two people get married, they become a family, so it is obvious that their new family comes before the parents, siblings and friends. You shouldn’t neglect your partner in order to have more time to spend with other people. Instead, talk to your spouse before and decide together which are your limits.

TAKEAWAY 

We all know that relationships are not easy, but we shouldn’t overcomplicate them either. Being honest, open, respectful, paying attention to your partner’s needs and knowing how to listen and to express your feelings are the best things that a marriage needs!