Mother-in-law, father-in-law, not to mention your spouse’s other relatives. For many people, the mere mention of their partner’s family can bring on a panic attack. This happens regardless of age, gender, or how long the relationship has been. Why is that, you might ask?

Well, according to some relationships experts, it is believed that it’s in our human nature to want other people to have a good impression of you. Long story short, it’s natural for humans to want to be liked by everyone, especially when those people are related to their soulmates.

There are a few people we can consider lucky because they seem to get along really well with their partners’ relatives. Unfortunately, this is not the case for everyone. I’m sorry I have to tell you this, but if you have the impression that your spouse’s family doesn’t like you very much, you are probably correct.

According to Psychology Today, in delicate situations like this, it is better to trust your gut. We can’t ignore the fact that sometimes, knowing that there are people who don’t have the best opinion about you, can drive us nuts. When something tells you that your loved one’s family doesn’t like you so much, you have two options: you either talk to your partner about it, or you pretend that you don’t notice or care. Whatever you chose to do, make sure you find the best way to express your feelings!

Another article that was published on Psychology Today says that for parents, the child is always going to be a child, regardless of age or relationship status. That is because from the moment the little one is born, there is a strong and enduring connection that keeps evolving.

In other words, your partner might not react well when hearing the fact that their family dislikes you. They might get defensive (if they are really close to their relatives), or might adopt a phlegmatic attitude (if they are not that close to their family, and they are willing to make you the top priority).

But let’s not get too deep yet. First of all, you have to prepare. That means you need to analyze your partner’s behavior when it comes to their family. After that, you will have a more definite idea about how you can handle the situation.

If you have trouble figuring out if your spouse’s family likes you or not, keep reading to see if these signs apply to your situation!

1. Where do you fit in their schedule?

When people are more mature and are also involved in a serious relationship, they are usually invited to come together to each other’s family events. Neglecting to include one of the members of the couple at family events and gatherings is not nice, and you can see this as a clear sign that you might not be their cup of tea.

Another source from Psychology Today says that familial habits that had existed long before you came into the picture are really hard to break. But if we are being honest and objective, when people grow older and have long-term partners, they form another family, whether they are married or not.

But if you feel like this sign applies to your situation, you can have a talk with your partner and maybe you will end up being on the guest list as well.

2. Did you go somewhere with them?

Maybe this one might be a little bit more tricky because you don’t have to be best friends with your spouse’s family. Just like that friend of yours that you always cancel on because you don’t have time for them or you just don’t want their company (aka they are not that important to you), when your partner’s relatives constantly cancel plans on you, they are more likely sending the same message.

3. Here come the passive-aggressive comments

This one is more likely to drive a lot of people crazy. There are a lot of signs that indicate passive-aggressive behavior, such as backhanded compliments, running late, withdrawal, sarcasm, sulking, refusal to communicate, withholding praise, and procrastination.

Scott Wetzler, vice chairman of the Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at Montefiore Medical Center, once said that passive-aggressive behavior is nothing but a sort of “sugar-coated hostility”.

If your partner’s family is acting this way towards you, try to keep your rage in check. Instead of exploding, better state your opinions out loud, but in a manner that is non-judgmental.

4. You get no gifts 

Not that you would need any sort of materialistic stuff from your partner’s family, but who are we lying to? Everyone loves gifts, even the smallest ones. That’s because they make us feel appreciated, important, and loved.

Here comes the bad thing: if your spouse’s family doesn’t send you anything on special occasions, such as your birthday, it may be because they don’t find you that important to them.

It’s not about the gift itself, but about the gesture that stands behind it.

5. You are being snubbed

We are all guilty of doing this! I don’t think there is anyone on this planet who didn’t snub someone at least once in their lifetime! That is because sometimes you may not want to stop and chat, even if it’s just for a few minutes. Still, this is impolite behavior.

Snubbing people who are not close to you is one thing. If you are being snubbed by acquaintances it won’t hurt you that much. On the other hand, there is a special kind of snub that makes you feel disrespected and disliked. If your spouse’s family pretends like they don’t see you if you happen to walk past them, it’s a clear sign that you might not be their cup of tea.

6. You are the walking bank

Although money is not that important for deep love and happiness, it still makes the world go around. What I am trying to say is that if you find yourself paying the tab every time it comes to family gatherings, something smells fishy!

In conformity with Quora’s rules of etiquette, the person who organizes the get-together is the one that should pay the tab at the end. If your spouse’s family is having money troubles, that is a different matter. It is not the biggest sign or the most important one, but when someone picks up the tab, it is a subtle way of showing that they care and vice versa.

7. Your name is still a mystery 

Do we even need to discuss this one? This is by far the MOST impolite thing someone can do! If your partner’s relatives can’t remember your name, they are telling you indirectly that they don’t think you are the ideal match, and they believe you are not that important to them!

8. Your words don’t seem to matter

It is never a good feeling when you are part of a conversation, but it seems like no one listens to what you have to say. In conformity with an article posted on Oprah’s site, being left out of a conversation can be seen as emotional drama.

If your in-laws tend to not pay attention to your words, leave you out of the discussion, or even steer conversation points away from you, they either lack respect and courtesy, or they just don’t care about your points of view.

9. Where did you say you work?

The thing you do for a living doesn’t define you, but it can say a lot about what type of person you are. There are times when people have such complicated jobs, that other person can not remember what they do. It is natural to not know everything, but should at least have a vague idea about what your career path is.

If your partner’s family doesn’t make any effort to learn or even remember a tiny part of what you do for a living, it might be a sign that they don’t find you that interesting.

10. Your accomplishments are invisible

When someone accomplishes something, it gives them motivation, satisfaction, and an overall good feeling. As The American Psychological Association says, it is believed that those who ignore someone’s accomplishments cause social pain.

This can hurt as much as physical pain, and it can create serious issues in someone’s mind. If you think that this is happening to you, better talk to your partner about it.

TAKEAWAY 

For some people, not getting along with their partners’ families is not the end of the world, while for other people this is a big deal. Either way, it is not easy to know that your spouse’s relatives are just not that into you.

What do you think about these signs? Have you ever experienced any of these? Don’t forget to share your thoughts with us by leaving them in the comment section down below!