4. Take a moment to calm down
There are subjects that are hard to talk about. They can cause a lot of emotions and easily make you angry. When you notice that your heart starts to beat faster and you’re about to start a fight, it’s best to take a moment to calm down. Analyze your feelings and your thoughts and find a way to tell your partner exactly what you need.
Anger typically arises when we have a desire that’s not fulfilled: whether we feel like we are not being taken seriously, we feel like people don’t listen to us, they don’t understand what we want to say, or they don’t accept us; yes, we know it doesn’t feel good. However, it’s better to stay calm rather than start a conflict and make things even worse.
5. Take a deep breath before you say something mean
When we’re angry, we usually feel hurt and want to make the other person feel the same as we do. But your words don’t need to feel like bullets, especially when you want to improve your relationship.
Take a breath and allow yourself to think about what you want to say, rather than say mean things just because you’re angry and disappointed. It’s better to say something like “I feel hurt and want to say something that will hurt you too,” because your partner will understand how you feel and you won’t be tempted to say mean words that you might regret later.
Use words that describe exactly how you feel. This way, you might notice that you can both talk to each other without having to fight, and you might be able to achieve what you want without starting a conflict.
6. Show your partner that you understand them
There are always two sides to every story, and it is possible that you and your partner have different versions regarding the reason why you keep fighting. A good trick to avoid this is to try and take a look at things from your significant other’s perspective.
You might notice a huge difference, and you might be surprised to discover that some of your fights can easily be solved with a bit of attention and implication. Think about what they might say or what they might want you to do, and you’ll see how things quickly change and how you actually understand what they expect from you and your relationship.
…Do you have any tips for making your relationship beautiful and healthy without constantly fighting? Tell us your secrets by leaving a comment on our post!
…Do you want more? Here’s an article we think you might enjoy reading: 5 Ways Your Relationship Is Solid (Even if It Doesn’t Seem Like It)!
