5 Ways To Rekindle Your Relationship

Do you remember those butterflies that you used to feel whenever you saw, touched, or talked to your partner? They are usually present at the beginning of a relationship when you are crazy and enthusiastic about your loved one. Unfortunately, these butterflies can easily disappear if you don’t take care of them, leaving you fumbling to create the spark again and to rekindle your intimacy level later on.

This is why the honeymoon phase is full of butterflies and love – it’s usually the time when both partners are actively making an effort to keep the spark going and to make the other feel loved, pleased, and joyful.

But as the relationship gets older, people tend to forget about the efforts they were making at the beginning. This leads to getting comfortable and losing the connection. Of course, this doesn’t happen overnight, but getting to the point where the relationship feels burned out is surely not a phase of your couple’s life.

Things can easily become monotonous, exactly like boring routines, where the excitement is almost absent. Everything feels predictable, everyone is in their comfort zone. It is true that this can make people feel safe and secure in their relationship, but if we think about it, where is the fun if there is no spontaneity and excitement?

If this is your life now, no need to worry because there is still a way to get back on track. As long as both of you are willing to make an effort to make each other feel butterflies again, you have all the chances in the world to make it. I am not gonna lie to you and say that this will be easy because it won’t. You will have to address the problems and work through all the issues you may have been ignoring.

This situation calls for communication, attention, empathy, reconnection, intimacy, and affection. Are you willing to make the effort? If you have no idea where to start, we have talked with several relationship experts on how to grow closer to your partner again.

Here are some tips on how to rekindle your relationship:

1. Do you have time to talk?

When people are at the beginning of a relationship, they tend to be extremely excited and curious about each other, about the new connection they have. This is the phase where you find yourself doing things that you don’t usually do, such as talking on the phone for hours or texting the whole day, even if it means you don’t sleep as much as you used to.

In conformity with Shelley Sommerfeldt, PsyD, a licensed clinical psychologist and founder of the Loving Roots Project, these things happen because people have a desire to be more mindful, more present, and more engaged in spending time with their new favorite person. When you start getting attached to someone, you want to know everything about them, so you make an effort to be engaged in the conversation. Unfortunately, this effort naturally decreases the longer you are a part of a couple.

In order to rekindle the affection and the love in a relationship, be sure to spend time getting in touch with your partner, and to really listen to what they have to say. As Sommerfeldt says, when you ask them how their day went, actively listen, ask questions, show that you truly care.

The same rule applies to more serious subjects, don’t get caught up in simple conversations, because you are not “simple” friends, you are partners. Showing your other half that you are curious about their lives, will show them love, respect, and care.

2. Do you show appreciation?

At the beginning of a relationship, or even of marriage, people tend to observe the little gestures their partners are doing for them more. This can mean tidying up the house before you came home, fixing a plate for when you get home hungry, preparing dinner, and so many other things.

As the relationship grows older, these gestures can fade into the background. You might observe them, but if you don’t show gratitude and appreciation to your partner for doing these, you will make them feel unappreciated.

Think about all the ways your partner contributes to your happiness and to your relationship. As Sommerfeldt says, the key to a strong and healthy intimate life is to say out loud the things that you appreciate, not keep them to yourself. Letting your partner know that you notice and you are thankful for the good things they do for you will show them that you love them and that you don’t take anything for granted.

3. When was the last time that you two tried something new?

When you are at the beginning of a relationship, you are curious and excited, and you are willing to explore more, to try new things with your partner, and to make memories together. Why change that? Why would you want to get comfortable and lose your butterflies for a routine that in the end will leave you looking for ways to rekindle your relationship?

Get up and do new things, go try out what you want! It doesn’t mean you should break the bank, maybe try a new recipe together, go on a date night, watch a movie… the possibilities are endless. You will discover new things about each other and you will remember why you love each other so much.

4. Did anyone say… alone time?

Life gets busy and complicated, we all get that. Maybe you have other people in your life that need you to take care of them, such as children or maybe grandchildren, parents, or other relatives, etc. But you need to take care of your relationship as well.

Plan out a surprise for your partner, go on a date night, do something just the two of you, go on trips, do a workout together, don’t neglect that! Also, don’t forget to show affection towards your special person. This can mean holding their hands, kissing them, hugging them, and just as important as the other ones… some bedroom time!

Shake things up in every area of your relationship! If we are talking about intimacy, then maybe you should consider trying new positions, music, candles, a different place, etc.

Rediscover yourselves, try new things together, spice things up, go out just the two of you, spend time together whenever you feel like it!

5. Are you willing to forgive and heal?

In the honeymoon phase of a relationship, people are usually more likely to not get upset about things that might bother them. However, the longer the relationship is, these things can build up over time and become frustrations, resentments, and negativity.

If this is your case, analyze your relationship, organize your thoughts, and have an open discussion with your partner. You might discover that both of you are willing to resolve the issues and get back the spark in your relationship!

TAKEAWAY

P.S. Keep in mind that as long as both of the partners are willing to make an effort to solve their issues and to rekindle the relationship, anything is possible! Whether it’s communication, trying new things, or maybe being helped by a therapist, it has to come for both parts!

What do you think about these methods? Have you ever tried them? Don’t forget to share your experiences with us by leaving a comment in the section down below!