8 Pieces of Advice to Take from Your In-Laws and 5 to Forget

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4.Advice to keep: Cook for him (or her)

You think it’s crazy how your mother-in – law’s slaves to make dinner from scratch every night. But, maybe she’s got a point. The way to a man’s heart (or a woman’s heart, for that matter) may be through their stomach. Cook his favorite meatballs for dinner, even if you’re not a meat-eater. Surprise her with your homemade waffles on Sunday morning.

“Food has long been associated with love,” says Fran Walfish, PsyD (aka Dr. Fran), a family and relationship psychotherapist and author of The Self-Aware Parent: Resolving Conflict and Building a Better Bond with Your Child. “It began with the love of the breastfeeding (feeding) mother to her infant.”

 

5.Advice to forget: Don’t keep secrets from one another

Yeah, the best approach is always honesty. But it’s all right if you keep a few things to yourself, even when you’re married. For example, when a friend says, “Don’t tell anybody,” it’s okay not to betray her. You want to be a good friend, and you don’t want to lose the trust of that friend. It’s all right to keep a friend’s secrets to yourself.

And your partner probably won’t understand or even think about it anyway, says Lisa Hochberger, M.Ed., a sexologist, sex educator, and relationship specialist. “There is no harm in keeping a friend’s secret that doesn’t affect your spouse,” she says.

 

6.Advice to keep: Compliment one another

Your father-in-law is telling your MIL that she looks gorgeous again. It’s a good habit to imitate. “Too often, couples start to take for granted all the good things about their partner and complain about the flaws and friction points,” says Jill Whitney, LMFT, who practices in Old Lyme, Connecticut, and blogs about relationships and sexuality. “It’s fine to talk about things you hope will improve, but it’s essential to also give attention to all the good things about the one you love.”

Happy couples know how to make a genuine and sincere compliment. In fact, the study found that receiving a compliment had the same positive impact as receiving cash.

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