7.Advice to keep: Show some PDA
You may think it’s weird when your in-laws get touchy-feely, but touch is the key component of intimacy and connection. “Touch allows for a sense of being connected and in sync with your partner,” says Carla Marie Manly, PhD, a clinical psychologist and author of Joy From Fear. “Touch can be reassuring and affirming. A partner may feel safer when the other offers loving, supportive touch.” In fact, not touching can make the other person feel like you’re trying to fend off them.
8.Advice to forget: You must always act like honeymooners
The chemistry that we feel for a spouse will change over time. It’s not uncommon for a marriage to go through times where we experience a lack of love for our partner, even though your relationship is strong. With day-to-day obligations like work, running a household, and raising children, your love for each other can take a back seat.
You may not be able to fly off to the Caribbean or spend hours in bed like in your newlywed days to restore the romance. But you can do some things to rekindle your relationship. For example, Carle says that you can make a romance appointment by lining up trusted babysitters.
“Sure, advance planning loses its spontaneity, but keep in mind the beautiful family you exchanged for spur-of-the-moment lovemaking,” she says. “When life takes over, reality reveals that sometimes you don’t have the energy or interest to act as you did when you had fewer commitments.”
9.Advice to forget: Spend all your free time together
Your mom and dad may spend every waking moment together, but spending time apart is not a reflection of the status of your relationship. Actually, a break-even a short one— brings it to life it. Absence does make the heart grow fonder.
“When two people are apart, they get to experience independent activities they can bring back to their honey and share through fresh eyes,” says Carle. “Each partner can grow from his/her time apart.” On the other hand, couples who spend every hour together can get bored by experiencing the same interaction. “Apartness adds spontaneity, which couples fear will disappear when they meld their lives,” says Dr. Carle.
