1.You’re not ready to date just yet.
Dating changes constantly, and it sure isn’t the same thing when you’re 40, as it was back when you were in your 20s and experienced your first relationships. At this age, you already had your fair share of deep connections, and the person you’re dating probably had them too. Therefore, both you and your date might have emotional baggage that you’re carrying around with you.
According to Kelly Campbell, Ph.D., professor of psychology at California State University, San Bernardino, you need to make sure you and the person you’re dating are actually ready for it. It’s important that both of you are ready to move forward and love again, especially if you come after a divorce or a long relationship.
You can easily find out that you and your partner are not ready to date just yet when you’re talking more about the past than you do about the present. Also, when you’re talking about your ex-partner in a disrespectful manner, not being able to remain impartial, it could be a sign that you haven’t moved on, which makes you not ready to date new people.
“If they are unable to discuss it in objective terms or clearly see each person’s role in what went wrong, it may be a warning sign that they aren’t over the other person, are still holding a grudge, or are at risk for repeating maladaptive patterns in the new relationship,” Dr. Campbell suggests.
In fact, having to constantly hear about someone’s ex, or another same-sex person might be a total turn-off, explains Fran Walfish, MD, a Beverly Hills-based family and relationship psychotherapist.
Make sure to also check: 25 Reasons Divorcing In Your 40s Isn’t The End of The World.
