1.You need to make sure it’s what you want.
Firstly, and very importantly, you need to make sure getting divorced is what you want. As Angie Hooper, a lawyer and certified professional coach has explained, in order to make the process as easy as possible, you need to make sure you really want this divorce to happen.
According to Hooper, this is a huge decision that shouldn’t be made overnight. Also, it can be a very stressful time, as you’re going to have to deal with a lot of papers and meetings with your lawyer, that’s why you need to make sure you want this divorce to happen.
If you’re 100% sure it’s the right call for you, you must think about what you want and what you’re willing to give up.
As Hooper has said, “All divorces have to balance speed, finances, and emotional impact. Without knowing your ‘must haves’ and your ‘negotiables’ in each category, you’ll end up with a divorce that leaves you feeling damaged, disempowered, and unable to move forward.”
In fact, this is the most common fight between couples who want to get a divorce, deciding who gets what, explained Dr. Carissa Coulston, a psychologist and relationship expert at The Eternity Rose.
She added that a lot of couples focus on the wrong things, such as who gets the car, or who gets the expensive TV you just bought, but there are a lot of things more important than that. Coulston recommends trying to think about what you really want from this in the incipient phases of the divorce process.
Also, she recommends being straight-forward about what you want and also what you need. It’s also important to understand that just because you want something, doesn’t mean you’ll get it. You need to be OK with the fact that even though you want something, your spouse might need it more than you, so try to be understanding and ready to compromise.
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