3.“That would never happen to me and my spouse.”
Someone who’s going through a divorce needs all the support they can get from their friends, so it might not be the best time to start comparing your marriage to theirs. While you might feel like you’re comforting them for pointing out that their marriage was always different, or they never did get along like you and your spouse, these comparisons will do more harm than good.
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According to Dr. Walker, it’s important to understand that your friend might have never seen the divorce coming, even though you feel like they were no good for each other from the start. And even if you feel like you have the perfect marriage and the perfect spouse, they might not want to hear about it during this period of grief and confusion.
“In order to be a supportive friend, we need to sift through our own issues, beliefs, and automatic assumptions and remember that what we think we know isn’t necessarily true. And that supporting our friend through a trying time means suspending our reactions and following their lead,” Dr. Walker added.
If you want to be there for your friend during these hard times, try not to judge their decision and understand that all marriages are different. Also, even happy marriages can end up in divorce. It’s something that can happen to anyone, and even though it’s not a fun experience, it’s something you can learn a lot from.
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