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…What do you know about getting a divorce?
When it comes to people who are divorced or about to get separated, there are a lot of questions they might receive from family, friends, and everyone in general: why didn’t you sign the papers sooner? Why did you decide to leave them? You were so good together and all sorts of things.
Wouldn’t it be good if some of the most important and delicate topics were openly and sincerely discussed so that no one had to feel alone and helpless? But what we wish for doesn’t happen all the time, and we might find ourselves looking for answers in different places.
With that in mind and in the spirit of bringing sensitive subjects to light, we’ve talked to some relationship and dating experts about what people going through a divorce are more likely to feel when they finally split. Curious to see which thing has surprised us the most?
The truth is that no one really wants to talk about the sadness and procedural challenges that come from separating not just from the person that used to be your significant other but also from the common life you’ve shared as well.
But that’s not all. Click on the next page to discover 4 divorce secrets no one tells you about but you should know about:
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1. You really feel the regret
In a perfect world, no one would ever feel the painful effects or the heart-wrenching feeling of regret. But that’s just not the reality of the world we live in, and when it comes to real problems like this one, they’re not fully discussed.
Many people start thinking that maybe if they had done some things differently, there would’ve been a different situation. Dating and relationship coaches say that it’s perfectly normal to feel those feelings and to acknowledge them, not to push them away or avoid them.
…You might find this inappropriate to say in a situation like this, but these are the exact feelings that will help you do better in your future relationships.
2. It’s really painful
Maybe you knew that the divorce was coming and you might have a lot of reasons to look forward to the beautiful things in your personal life. But that doesn’t mean that the overall experience of separating from your spouse was easy, because it surely wasn’t. So if you’re in the trenches feeling bad and upset about your situation, know that you’re not the only one.
The majority of people talk about moving on like it’s the easiest thing on Earth to do, but none of them address the fact that it might take a while to get used to your new life, whether it’s your life as a single person or as someone who wants to start dating again.
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3. It could take a lot of time to get over it
Of course, many people think that the word “divorce” sounds like a categorical decision followed by a lot of paperwork that needs to be signed by both spouses. It’s far from a simple document. In fact, the divorce process can actually be seen as a long and exhausting case-emotionally, logistically, and even legally, in some cases.
Even though you might know that the separation was the best thing you could’ve possibly done for your relationship, it still hurts and it might take a while to get over it. You shouldn’t add more pressure on yourself and think that the longer it takes you to let go of the past, the worse it’s going to be because it’s not true.
…Everyone has different healing periods, so give yourself time because things will eventually get better.
4. Isolation is tough
If you’ve watched any romantic movies, you’re surely sick of those scenes where heartbreak is easily solved in a few weeks at home, eating chocolate and ice cream, staying completely in the dark, and watching love films. As much as we might want this to be the reality, the truth is that it’s way harder and more time-consuming than that.
And while there’s a certain comfort to be found in being home alone and having the chance to connect with your feelings and thoughts, too much time spent alone can lead to some mental health challenges that could be successfully avoided with the help of positive human connection.
Even though you’re a new divorcee and all you want to do is stay at home and binge on ice cream, you shouldn’t neglect your friends and family that support you. As time passes, you’ll discover that you’re a lot stronger and you’ll want to have new experiences and friendships. So take your time to heal, but don’t completely isolate yourself from the outside world!
…What do you think about all these divorce secrets that people don’t usually talk about? Would you like them to be openly discussed so that everyone can have a better idea of what’s going to happen next? We are curious to know what you think, so make sure to let us know about it by leaving a comment in the section down below!
…If you find this article helpful and you want to read something else from us, here’s a great one for you: 6 Signs Your Partner Is Too Clingy (How to Deal With It)!