Love is not something universal, it is not the same for all people. We already know that each individual is unique and special, so no wonder everyone feels love differently. Some people fall in love later, others sooner. Some may experience deep love, which in time can be transformed into marriage.
Unfortunately, not all relationships have a happy ending. If you feel like your marriage is on the rocks, and you have already tried all the things you could to make you and your partner happy again (but with no success), you might consider filing for divorce.
But before you make such a life-changing decision, experts recommend that you should be 100% sure this is what you want. Other than that, you can analyze the good and the bad things that might happen to you after the separation.
Without further ado, let’s see the pros and the cons for people’s lives after divorce:
Let’s start with the PROS!
Relaxation
– you get to do whatever you want when you feel like it. You won’t have to think about preparing food for anyone rather than yourself. You can invite people over for drinks and hang out, and you can make time for all your little habits.
Freedom
– when people are married, they tend to take care of their partners before taking care of themselves. You have all the right to be happy and to live your life the way you want! You don’t have anyone you need to give explanations to, so you can finally explore and do all the things you want! You go out and drink an extra glass of wine, you can come home late… the world is yours!
Dreams
– there is a possibility that your dreams about the future or maybe about a different career are different than your partner’s. When people are involved in a serious relationship, they usually make compromises for each other, in order to keep a balanced life. When things are too much and the couple decides to separate, everyone has the chance to get back to their hopes and dreams, and actually work towards reaching them.
The focus is on you
– now is the time you get to put your priorities in the first place. You will remember what it was like living alone, you will get your independence again, you will relearn how to love yourself! In the end, this represents a time of growth.
Out and about
– who says that after filing for divorce you have to stay single? Nobody! Life goes on, you tried and it didn’t work, and now it’s time for a fresh and new experience! You have the time to meet new people, to go out, have fun, and you might surprise yourself by falling in love again!
Friendships never end
– there is the possibility that during your marriage you neglected your friends. Not anymore! You will need their support and their company anyway because let’s face it, divorce is not that pleasant, and it is a rollercoaster of emotions! You can make up for all the time that you have spent apart, and have all the fun in the world!
Good parent
– according to experts, when parents divorce, children might feel like they are in the middle of the issues. It doesn’t matter if they are little, teenagers, or adults, they most likely know about your problems. Even if they don’t realize it, they can feel overwhelmed by all the problems. After the divorce, you might find yourself being happier, which will make you more aware of the time you spend with your kids. If you think about it, when parents are happy, their children are happy as well!
Being friends with your ex
– there are many people who want to keep in touch with their ex’s from time to time. This can happen a few months after the breakup. You can be surprised to find that your former partner is better off as your friend, rather than your spouse. As Carmel Jones, a relationship writer for The Big Fling, says, having the strong desire to see your ex-partner happy means that your friendship is stronger than your romantic relationship was.
Now let’s see the CONS!
Money
– if we are being honest, divorce is mostly a commercial transaction. Many freshly divorced people are surprised to learn how much paperwork and money are involved in the process. You have to think about the settlement, who gets what, who keeps the house etc.
Grief
– even though you might be aware of the fact that a divorce is what you need to be happy again, deep down, you know that something is over and you are feeling sad. It’s a normal process and everybody goes through it, but not that many people are willing to take this step.
Friends detox
– during a divorce, you anticipate losing one of the most significant connections in your life, such as important friendships. Lots of people who have gone through a divorce say that mutual friends are frequently lost in the process. And it’s possible that it’s not so much an issue of a friend favoring one member of a relationship over the other as it is a change in dynamics.
The same pattern
– divorce might separate you from your spouse, but you remain the same person. Many people expect a separation like this to be the beginning of a new chapter in their lives. Some of them are surprised to see that they have a similar dynamic with a new partner as they did with the person they divorced. This is why you should solve all of your problems before jumping into another relationship.
You are all alone
– not trying to be dramatic, but divorce can interfere with your mental health because it tends to mess up your anxiety levels. You will have to remember the days you were independent and start going through life like that.
Physical health
– according to a 2010 study published in the Journal of Marriage and Family, it had been found that divorced middle-aged men and women have a higher risk of acquiring cardiovascular disease than married adults of the same age.
TAKEAWAY
At the end of the day, you are the only one who can decide whether you want to file for divorce or not. Married or not, life goes on!
What do you think of these pros and cons regarding life after divorce? Do you find them true or do you think these are just nonsense? Don’t forget to share your thoughts with us by leaving them in the comments section down below!
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