“I just want to know why he/she did that. Wasn’t I enough? Did I do something wrong? If I did, then what did I do? Why don’t I have all the answers?”. These are valid questions every person who got cheated on asked themselves. Some of them received answers, and some of them did not.

If you talk about answers, there are people who believe that sometimes it’s better to not know, even though they are constantly wondering what happened. They have arguments, saying that instead of making yourself feel even worse, you should move on with your life.

There are many reasons people chose to cheat and, of course, every situation has its own particularities. However, according to the experts, there are a few patterns that make generalizing possible. Also, there are many cases when there can be multiple reasons why, but getting to the core of the problem might be difficult.

While no excuse or explanation is viable for betraying a partner, in some situations it does help to know the motives, so we know what further actions to take.

If you are wondering what things make people leave their homes to find comfort in somebody else’s arms, keep reading to find out!

1. Physical addiction 

There are times when a partner that has cheated says that their physical needs weren’t met. The other partner remains astonished, saying that they were being intimate five or six times a week.

At first, we might believe that the one who cheated might say that as an excuse, but in reality, if you think about it from another point of view, you can ask yourself some questions: “Is that person asking for something that the other person is not able to give? Is there a pattern of infidelity? Is there an urge to fulfill other physical needs?”. If this is the case, then we might say that physical addiction can be the center of the problem.

On the other hand, we can’t put all the blame on addiction, because everyone has the right to choose their actions. Often, there are other underlying issues that should be taken into account, such as validation, childhood issues, or emotional connections.

2. Emotional connection

Although this is not at the top of the list, if you analyze the core problem behind an affair, this might be number one. According to several articles and studies about cheating, women are the ones who are more likely to run into somebody else’s arms. But we shouldn’t neglect men, just because women tend to express their emotions more. This is an issue that occurs in both men and women.

When somebody feels connected to someone else, they are willing to spend more time together, and therefore take their relationship to another level. Also, when people feel like they are connected on an emotional level, they are more likely to want to connect on other levels as well.

If you remember another topic that we have tackled, we have talked about different ways people cheat. Just because someone didn’t take it to the full physical level: often speaking to someone else, sneaking around, and going on dates behind someone’s back still counts as cheating.

3. Physical needs that are not fulfilled 

We all know that a good and healthy relationship needs a lot of things, such as communication, honesty, surprises, and an active intimate life. These things are the key ingredients to a long-lasting and happy relationship. They make people feel connected, important, loved, and listened to.

Being intimate with your partner should be a mutual commitment that needs to happen regularly. In most relationships, even the strongest ones, there is some sort of discrepancy between the partner’s desires, and that is completely normal. The tricky part is how the couple can meet in the middle.

If one of the partners refuses the other one often, it gives the impression that there is no more interest towards their partner. These things can lead to other issues that might make a person cheat, such as lack of validation and even an emotional connection.

4. Validation

Just like taking care of children, making them feel loved, appreciated, and worthy, the same rule applies to your partner. People need to feel loved, they need to feel like they are needed and being taken care of.

There are many cases where people don’t have self-confidence, they don’t think they are worthy enough, so they are always looking for external validation. This is why experts always suggest that you should love yourself first, before committing to a relationship.

If someone is always looking for an intimate connection with other people, it means that they need to feel attractive, desirable, wanted and good enough. However, this validation is temporary, and it comes with regrets and shame so the validation that was received is only short-term.

5. Love

Yes, you read that right. Sometimes, even though they are involved in a serious relationship, people can develop feelings for someone else. According to experts, it is possible and doable for people to be attracted and to love more than one person, just like it is possible to love more than a single child.

Love can’t happen accidentally. You can always make a choice, and when someone falls in love, they allow themselves to do so. That’s because you need some things from other people, in order to fall in love. You need interaction, you need connection, flirting. People have to spend time together to get to know each other.

This is why when someone says that they just happened to fall in love, it’s nonsense because there is at least one reason that makes people fall in love with one another.

6. Revenge 

Everyone wants to feel understood by their partners, but you can’t make someone feel the way you feel by doing to them the same bad things they’ve done to you. According to experts, this is an indicator of unhealthy relationship behavior, which leads to bigger issues.

Let’s put it like this: if someone cheats on their partner, the “victim” finds out and decides to cheat, and everything is out in the open now, do you think they can make up and make their relationship work again? We don’t think so. There will be many layers of pain, trauma, issues, and bad intentions.

7. Midlife crisis

There is no such thing as cheating solely until you enter your 40s! When it comes to love, age, sex, and money are not that important! Regardless of age, all people can question their lives, their paths, their partners, the directions they are going into and the list can go on.

With age, people can begin to feel more insecure and they will seek out validation, in order to feel more appreciated. Also, when people observe that they start to age, they have a new desire to try new things and opportunities, before life goes by. These can lead to career changes, new physical partners, wanderlust and so many other things.

8. Boredom 

If the romantic relationship is not that romantic anymore, people can get bored, and they will seek attention and love in a different place. They can have an intimate desire, they might look for emotional connections or communication and understanding.

This is why experts always suggest that partners should talk about all their feelings and problems because it is the only way they will be able to solve their issues.

9. Childhood

Whether we realize it or not, some neuroscience experts say that all people have traumas, either from childhood or teenage years, that we spend a long period of our lives trying to make sense of. Unfortunately, the majority of them are issues related to relationships. This can make people fight over and over again, and when it comes to romantic relationships, these unresolved issues can lead to infidelity or divorce.

Some experts recommend getting to the core of the issues, then work from there, because these problems can sabotage someone’s relationships in multiple ways – fighting, cheating, abusing, lying, verbal and physical violence, and the list can go on.

10. Opportunity

You might not have expected that, but this one comes from experts! According to an article that was posted on Psychology Today, it was found that women and men that work with people and have physical contact with them are more likely to find themselves cheating. This is because the temptation is bigger, especially if they are physically touching other people.

On the other hand, the same article says that people who work from home or those who have more isolated jobs might not find cheating as tempting as the other category.

TAKEAWAY 

There is no such thing as the perfect recipe for a healthy and strong relationship, but the main ingredients are communication, honesty, affection, and love.

To sum up this article, we can say that nowadays, being surrounded by technology, can make us more tempted. We have smartphones, and social networking apps, so the possibilities to cheat are endless. But that doesn’t mean all of us are willing to do so.

Before jumping to conclusions, it is always better for partners to talk about their feelings and maybe ask for an expert’s opinion!

What do you think about these reasons why people cheat? Do you agree with them or not? Don’t forget to share your thoughts with us by leaving them in the comments section down below!