While an important part of trust is simply trusting your partner’s words, these signs make it easier to know you’re in a loving, stable and based on respect type of relationship.
When it comes to a relationship, trust is one of the most important qualities that help in building a strong relationship. However, at times it can be difficult to know that you have it. How can you know that you can trust your partner and that they trust you? Luckily, there are some revealing signs, according to relationship experts.
She shares all her feelings
Being honest about all of her thoughts and feelings and sharing everything with you is one of the biggest signs that you can trust your partner, says Shaunti Feldhahn, social researcher and author of The Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages.
“Openness and vulnerability in conversation—their willingness to really open up their heart and share what they’re really thinking, even if it puts them at risk for ridicule and being criticized for you—that is a scary thing in a lot of relationships,” she says.
However, just because your partner doesn’t share everything that goes through their lives and minds immediately, don’t jump to the conclusion that they do not care, and it doesn’t mean she isn’t willing to share. In some cases, talking helps some people process their emotions, while there are the ones who need some alone time to sort out their feelings.
Even if it takes a couple of hours or even a couple days for your partner to feel like she’s ready to open up, the emotional discussion you’re about to have shown a deep level of trust in a relationship and it’s definitely one of the most important signs your relationship is solid as a rock.
He admits when he’s wrong
Admitting where you went wrong, even if it’s only about some small screw-ups, like when your partner put the wrong type of gas in the car or other small inconvenience that might occur, it really shows that he’s trying to be honest and trusts you even when he’s vulnerable. And that’s just WOW!
“If you can’t take responsibility for the small things, you can’t take responsibility for the big things,” says mental health counselor Aniesa Schneberger, MA, LMHC, founder of Tampa Life Change.
“When we hide things and lie and get defensive, we’re afraid to let that person in.” Furthermore, a sincere apology from the bottom of his heart shows the desire to build trust in a relationship.
She gushes about details of the day
A partner that has nothing to hide from you, will tell you everything that needs to be told while giving you consistent stories that don’t have big gaps of information.
“There’s trust if they’re willing to talk about things, give you details, sometimes share additional details, and have no hesitations,” says Pepper Schwartz, PhD, co-author of Snap Strategies for Couples: 40 Fast Fixes for Everyday Relationship Pitfalls.
He looks for excuses to touch you
Sex is very important in a relationship, but it surely isn’t the only sign of physical intimacy that should exist in a relationship. Simple gestures like holding your hand and giving you a kiss in the morning, show that you really have a deep connection and that there’s so much trust between you two, as it should in every good relationship.
“How a couple is intimate with each other physically says a lot about how much they trust each other on a deeper level,” Schneberger says. “Coming behind you to give you a hug when you’re cooking is intimacy. It’s not just the sexual act of sex—it’s those little things.”
You share a bank account
“It’s become very common for people to hear when they get married, ‘Keep a bank account on the side so if he flakes out, you can support yourself,’” Feldhahn says.
“A sign of trust is if they’re willing to totally put themselves ‘at risk’ and be very open about finances.”
The gesture of hiding money from your partner that seems so normal to some people shows that, at a certain level, you’re not sure of your relationship and you expect the worst from your partner. As I see it, even if you have separate bank accounts, being honest about finances shows you can rely on each other and trust each other enough to be left vulnerable.
She goes out of her way to put you at ease
Another important aspect stand stands before every successful relationship, is accepting your partner’s gestures of faithfulness even if you’ve been feeling insecure lately. For example, if you feel threatened about her new attractive business partner or colleague but she wants to introduce you to him, she’s going out of your way to prioritize your relationship.
“It’s always important to show your partner that they come first,” Schwartz says.
“It’s just going out of your way to make sure your partner isn’t feeling insecure and untrusting.”
He drops everything to talk to you
Small things like leaving aside everything he has to do, like resisting the urge to get up for a glass of water during a serious talk is a good indicator that he respects you very much and cares deeply about what you’re saying.
“The front of the body facing the front of the other person’s body is a big indicator of trust,” Schneberger says.
“Closed-off body language like crossing your arms are putting your hands on your hips could do the opposite and tell your partner you’re not interested, she says. Even if that guarded position is just a comfortable stance for you, try to keep your body language open to show you’re listening. This is just one of the daily habits of couples in healthy relationships,” he adds.
She lets you do the talking
Sitting in silence without saying a word while you’re complaining about your bad day shows how much your significant other respects your feelings. Even if her day wasn’t very good, she still listens, and that shows how much of a priority you are to her.
“A lot of times we try to fill the space with suggestions or ideas of how to help that person,” Schneberger says.
“That often doesn’t help, because the other person just wants to be heard.” If you’re the one doing the listening, try not to let the silence make you uncomfortable. When she’s let out her feelings, ask if there’s anything you can do to help rather than immediately volunteering your advice.
His questions don’t feel like an interrogation
Often, people tend to get suspicious of a partner because they can imagine themselves creating the problems they accuse their partner of, Schwartz says. However, if the relationship is built on trust, he won’t give off those skeptical vibes.
“You show support by displaying that you do, in fact, believe and trust that person by taking their word at face value, not grilling them,” Schwartz says.
“Wholehearted acceptance of what that person is saying or asking follow-up questions that show interest in what happened as opposed to what did or did not happen show trust.”
She hands you her phone while she’s driving
Snooping through your partner’s messages shows that there’s no trust between you two because if it were, you wouldn’t have to do that. However, if she hands you her phone without you asking for it, you’ll be sure that she has absolutely nothing to hide, and you won’t feel the need to search through her phone.
“It’s not like you should go and check up on somebody, because that makes you the police, and that’s not healthy,” Feldhahn says.
“But it’s to just know ‘I’m an open book in technology and if you happen to be there, there’s nothing I wouldn’t want you to see.’”