There is no doubt when a relationship is unhealthy. For a relationship to be toxic, it doesn’t have to be abusive. Toxic relationships can be even more dangerous than abusive ones, because you may not be aware that it is harming you. A toxic relationship is the one that slowly kills your inside, lowers your self-confidence, stunts your growth and making you feel less like yourself.
Toxic relationships can cause monumental breakage to people. Not every toxic relationship is toxic from the beginning. Some might seem really strong and promising at first, and after a while, something changes. Relationship change. People change. It is normal for things to be like this, but if you see your relationship evolving to something you don’t like and you have more fights with your partner than happy moments, you should ask yourself some questions.
If you are unsure whether you are in a toxic relationship or not, your close friends or family members will know instantly and they will keep reminding you every day because they love you and want to see you do well.
A relationship should be about love, peace, respect, and happiness. Your partner should be your source of happiness, not your constant source of worry.
Here are 5 signs that show you’re in a toxic relationship. Do not ignore them!
The desire to control your partner
If your partner tries to control every move you make and who you should or shouldn’t talk to, you’re definitely in a toxic relationship. Always checking up on you, accusing you of things you haven’t done, demanding a constant report on your actions and conversations, gets upset when you do activities that don’t include them, telling you what to wear, and the list can go on. All of these are examples of controlling behavior, and if you find this kind of behavior in yourself or in your partner, you’re not in a healthy relationship.
Any attempt to take anyone’s freedom is controlled. A partner who desires control is a possessive person. You might find this jealousy attractive early in the relationship, but these toxic individuals tend to become more and more controlling as the time passes by. They start to interrogate you in everything you do, and in a short period of time will make your life miserable. This type of partner do not see themselves in a relationship with you, they see themselves as possessing you.
If your partner constantly tries to make you feel bad about doing something they don’t like. This type of behavior can occur between friends or parents as well. Guilt induction is very common in families when toxic parents still want control over their adult children.
The guilt-inducer tries to control you by making you feel bad, resulting in them getting what they want. They continue to make you feel guilty when they do not agree with your actions.
This form of manipulation is a sign that you’re in a toxic relationship, so you should pay close attention to your partner’s behavior at the beginning of the relationship because a controlling behavior like this only gets worse as they get more comfortable with you.
Too much negativity
We all have bad days, not every day in a relationship is milk and honey. But if your partner doesn’t have any intention in doing better, always dragging you down with their negativity, that can make a relationship toxic. If you wake up in the morning and you’re in a good state of mind and he tries to steal it from you, making you feel miserable all the time, he’s damaging you without realizing it.
If you’re a negative person you make others feel unhappy. This type of behavior is unintentional, but it can affect your relationship over time. Constantly making your significant other to carry your negativity only drives them apart. No one is happy all the time and we’re responsible for our own happiness, but getting support from your partner is a necessity in a relationship. With or without intention, too much negativity is affecting our partner’s quality of life.
A passive-aggressive adult most of the time grew up in a home with too many rules to follow or strict parents. A passive-aggressive person is very hard to deal with. He makes it hard to communicate with, always makes you feel small and criticizes you all the time. Most of the time, this kind of behavior isn’t even recognized by the person who does it. They can see it as something innocent like teasing you, when in fact their behavior can do a lot of damage,
“Teasing your partner can be great for your relationship because it builds a playful rapport,” says Allison Gerrits, San Francisco-based matchmaker with Three Day Rule. “But it’s important to make sure the teasing isn’t one-sided or too critical. If there are bigger issues that need to be addressed, have a clear and more direct conversation. Don’t let teasing become a passive-aggressive way to talk things out.”
The thing with passive-aggressive behavior is that it makes you fight more often out of nothing, lowering one’s self-esteem.
It feels bad all the time
If your partner doesn’t make you feel better on a bad day and you fall asleep feeling sad and disappointed every night, your relationship isn’t healthy. You look at other couples and see them happy, while your relationship is the exact opposite.
If your partner doesn’t show any interest in what you like to do, if he doesn’t care about your feelings and hurts you several times without being sorry, you’re in a toxic relationship. Invest your time in someone who invests in you and cares about your well-being. Choose someone who respects you and wants what’s best for you. Don’t settle for less.
Leaving your relationship is never easy, especially if you’ve invested a lot of time in it, but staying more than you should with a toxic partner, will make it even harder to leave.
The bad news is that you cannot change someone. The good news is you can choose who you can be with. Choose wisely!