21.Compare divorces with others
Not all divorces are created equal. Every single divorce is unique just like the people involved in it, with different personal stories and backgrounds. Speaking to someone about your divorce, especially someone who’s also gone through one, can be therapeutic. But comparing what you’ve been through and the issues you’ve had to deal with, like legal battles or financial settlements, is not going to make you feel any better.
Your friend might have the best intentions in mind when telling you that you could have asked for more money, or that you could have ended things on a friendlier note. But it’s only going to make you feel like you’ve drawn the short straw when, in fact, you could have done better. You don’t need those types of thoughts going through your head!
22.Do something rebellious
A crazy haircut or a tattoo seem like the perfect way to mark the ending of your old life and the start of your new one. It’s your way of telling people that you’re in control now and “No one can tell me what to do anymore!”.
While the meaning behind the act is to be appreciated, the gesture itself….well, not so much. Not because tattoos are not nice and all, but a tattoo that says “Single and Ready to Mingle” might not seem fun and wild or be relevant after a couple of months, when you’re no longer angry and upset about your divorce.
See also 11 Unexpected Ways Your Body Reacts to a Breakup.
23.Avoid married friends
Now that you’re single, spending time with other married couples and being the fifth wheel might make you uncomfortable. But you shouldn’t be. If your married friends have no problem inviting you out and being around you, there’s no reason for you to avoid spending time with them.
More than that, there’s no reason to hate marriage and married couples neither. Remember, it’s not the concept of marriage you’re repudiating, it’s one person in particular…the one you’ve been married to up to one point.
24.Neglect other things in your life
You might have divorced your spouse but that doesn’t mean you’ve also divorced your bills, household chores and the like. It might be difficult sometimes to find the right motivation to do something…anything, especially if your ex was in charge of doing them. But just because they can no longer pay the electricity bill, change the car oil or fix the leaky faucet, doesn’t mean your life is stuck and you can’t find a solution. Life goes on, whether you like it or not, and you also have to move forward.
25.Get intimate with your ex
No matter how much we think we are in control of our emotions, they can still take us by surprise, especially when it comes to somebody we once considered our “forever” person. It’s perfectly normal to sometimes be nostalgic and think about why you and your ex seemed to be made for one another.
But it’s not alright to act on those feelings and end up being intimate with your former flame because of your past life and experiences together. “Before you agree to share your body with that person again, stop and think about it. The relationship ended for a reason, so why are you considering going back to the sex?” says Rhonda Richards-Smith, psychotherapist and relationship expert. It will only complicate matters even more between you two and might even prevent you from moving forward with your life. You know you want and need to, so why put obstacles by yourself?
26.Date your ex’s friends
Another major no-no, if not the biggest one is dating your former spouse’s friends. You have the whole world to choose from and you go for someone in their social circle? No. Don’t even think about it! Dating your ex’s friends is like hitting a wall over and over again. “If you prefer to keep things emotionally clean, hop on a dating app where there are lots of choices that will probably bring you some much-needed diversity in your friend and dating group,” relationship expert Dr. Darcy Sterling advises.
Dating and even getting married again can be difficult. Here are 20 Things Experts Want You to Consider Before You Get Remarried.
