2. Find a balance between rage and your need for information.
It’s natural to want to cry, scream and lash out at your partner, and you should definitely take as much time as you need. However, communication is very important in a relationship, so you need to make sure you’re asking your partner everything you want to know about the unfortunate event.
Even though they’re the ones that hurt you, you need to be compassionate with their emotions in order to get to the truth. If you want the truth, be prepared that it might hurt more than you imagine.
“When you get all the facts, you’re not obsessed anymore,” Vaughan says. “The only way your spouse will be willing to answer is if you can manage not to lash out and attack every time. Spouses who’ve had affairs are afraid to reveal everything because they’re worried it will become a marathon, with a downward spiral of out-of-control emotions.”
If things go overboard and you or your spouse get very angry, make sure to stop the discussion and leave it for another day.
Make sure to also check: 20 Effects of Divorce That People Don’t Talk About.
