Relationships are complicated and even the smallest details matter the most when it comes to keeping them healthy. Communication is very important in every relationship and words are powerful enough to destroy a beautiful thing if not used properly. Some words are never meant to be used near a loved one and ‘divorce’ is definitely one of them. Every little fight between spouses doesn’t have to include the word ‘divorce’ if you want things to work out.

And there are many other dangerous words that most people use without realizing they could destroy a relationship. We’re so used to speaking our minds that sometimes we ignore the fact that words can hurt the people we love the most. For instance, relationship experts recommend trying to avoid the word ‘should’ when talking to your partner, because even though it’s a common word that seems innocent, it could affect the stability of the relationship and slowly destroy it with its hidden meaning.

Make sure to also check: 5 Most Common Manipulation Tactics Used by Highly Toxic People.

Experts say that the word ‘should’ is often linked to expectations and judgments, which makes it powerful enough to end a relationship when it is used in every argument. According to Natalie Finegood Goldberg, LMFT, of Creating Change LA, “Expectations that are attached to ‘shoulds’ are often rooted in unrealistic beliefs, unvocalized needs, or judgments regarding how a partner believes the other person should behave.”

Natalie Finegood Goldberg also explained that using the word ‘should’ is kind of the same thing as finger-pointing, which will make you appear extremely critical towards your partner. Additionally, this will make your partner feel like they’re responsible for your feelings, which rarely ends well, Goldberg added.

Also, as clinical psychologist Carla Manly, PhD, author of Joy from Fear: Create the Life of Your Dreams by Making Fear Your Friend would say, the common word ‘should’ can make your partner feel like you’re not respecting them enough. Relationships usually thrive when there’s respect between the couples, communication, no judgment, no shaming, and the word ‘should’ could easily affect all those things and make your partner shut-down or avoid the relationship dynamics.

Here are 10 Signs You’re Dating A Narcissist. Find out more HERE. 

According to Darcie Brown, LMFT, using the word ‘should’ could also make your partner feel like you’re trying to gain control over the relationship and over them. And we all know by now that we tend to want to get out of a relationship when it starts feeling overwhelming and too controlling.

“From one partner to another, ‘should’ is typically a way of imposing one’s values on the other,” Darcie Brown says. She also added that ‘should’ is doing more harm than good in a relationship because it’s like saying ‘I know better than you’ or ‘we should do it my way’. A relationship needs teamwork to function properly, but it also needs individuality, and when you say ‘I know better than you’ you’re taking away their power and the ability to determine the course of action.

However, there are many other words that are powerful enough to destroy a relationship. Read on to discover some of them and try not to use them when talking to your partner!

See also: 7 Signs It Might Be Time to Move On.

Always

According to relationship expert Jaime Bronstein, LCSW, ‘always’ is an absolute that should be avoided in a relationship. While many of us use this word all the time when talking to our partner, only a few know that it can ruin a relationship when used frequently. Make sure to also check: 19 Expert-Recommended Ways to Be a More Thoughtful and Proactive Partner.

According to Bronstein, it’s normal to feel a little angry or upset when your partner is leaving their clothes on the floor or not doing something you asked them to do. However, Bronstein says, you have to consider the fact that they’re probably not leaving their clothes on the floor every day, so there’s no need to use such a powerful word as ‘always’.

Let your partner mess up once in a while, it’s normal after all to be messy and imperfect. The fact that they’re not always how you want them to be doesn’t have anything to do with you.

Here are 9 Little Ways to Show Affection to Your Significant Other.

Never

Just like ‘always’, ‘never’ is an extreme word that should be avoided at all costs. And let’s be honest, we all tend to use the word never in an argument, you ‘never’ do this or that, but according to Brown, this word “can diminish the positive aspects of a person’s behavior.”  This One Thing Is Ruining Your Relationship, Experts Say. CLICK HERE to find out more.

Therefore, ‘always’ and ‘never’ are absolutes, which means they can result in a defensive reply from your partner, which can ultimately lead to a huge argument, so it would be easier to avoid these two words altogether.

Click HERE to discover the 8 Sure Signs You’re a Victim of Love Bombing.

You

Such a common word can cause very big problems, except when it is used to say ‘I love you’ to your one and only. Experts recommend trying to avoid saying things like ‘You make me very mad’ or ‘You’re doing this again’. See also: The Worst Thing You Could Possibly Say to Your Partner.

The word ‘you’ used in this case can make your partner feel like you’re blaming them for everything that’s not right in the relationship, Brown explained. According to Brown, “Framing your sentence this way also makes your partner feel attacked or judged.”

Here’s how How to Trust Your Partner Again After Betrayal.

Need

You need to express your needs in a relationship if you want things to go right between you two. However, according to relationship experts, the word ‘need’ can do more harm than good when it is used to describe things that aren’t necessities. Make sure to also read: Top 5 Worst Things You Could Possibly Say to Your Ex.

According to Michelle Pargman, LMHC, the word ‘need’ can cause unintentional conflicts when it is used in an argument with your partner. “The word ‘need’ can also get us in an unintentional argument with the person we care about the most. And that’s mainly because after using the word ‘need’, “we are holding whatever comes after that, as important as oxygen when it isn’t,” Pargman added.

Here are 30 Funny White Lies Everyone in a Relationship Tells.

But

According to Lynell Ross, a certified relationship coach and resource director for Test Prep Insight, when your partner opens up to you and shares their feelings, the last thing you would want to say starts with ‘yes, but….’. How You Can Tell If Your Partner Is Going to Break Your Heart. CLICK HERE to find out more.

Saying ‘but’ will make your partner think like you’re trying to renegotiate what they’ve said or make them feel like you’re not listening or understand them, Lynell Ross added. Here are 10 Signs You’re in An Emotionally Abusive Relationship and It’s Time to Get Out.