Experts say that the word ‘should’ is often linked to expectations and judgments, which makes it powerful enough to end a relationship when it is used in every argument. According to Natalie Finegood Goldberg, LMFT, of Creating Change LA, “Expectations that are attached to ‘shoulds’ are often rooted in unrealistic beliefs, unvocalized needs, or judgments regarding how a partner believes the other person should behave.”
Natalie Finegood Goldberg also explained that using the word ‘should’ is kind of the same thing as finger-pointing, which will make you appear extremely critical towards your partner. Additionally, this will make your partner feel like they’re responsible for your feelings, which rarely ends well, Goldberg added.
Also, as clinical psychologist Carla Manly, PhD, author of Joy from Fear: Create the Life of Your Dreams by Making Fear Your Friend would say, the common word ‘should’ can make your partner feel like you’re not respecting them enough. Relationships usually thrive when there’s respect between the couples, communication, no judgment, no shaming, and the word ‘should’ could easily affect all those things and make your partner shut-down or avoid the relationship dynamics.
Here are 10 Signs You’re Dating A Narcissist. Find out more HERE.
